DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Mr HEARTLY, the Guardian, Miss HARRIET. an Heiress, Mr Murray. Mr Munden. Mr Brunton. Mr Sargent. Miss Taylor. THE GUARDIAN, ACT I. SCENE I.-A Hall in Mr HEARTLY'S House. Enter Sir CHARLES Clackit, his Nephew, and SER VANT, Serv. Please to walk this way, sir, Y. Clac. Let him know then Sir C. Prithee be quiet, Jack; when I am in com pany let me direct. "Tis proper 悲 Y. Clac. I am dumb, sir. and decent. Sir C. Tell Mr Heartly, his friend and neighbour, Sir Charles Clackit, would say three words to him. I [Exit. Sir C. Now nephew, consider once again, before open the matter to my neighbour Heartly, what I ám going to undertake for you. Why don't you speak? Y. Clac. Is it proper and decent, uncle ? Sir C. Pshaw! don't be a fool, but answer me; don't you flatter yourself. What assurance have you that this young lady, my friend's ward, has a liking to you? the young fellows of this age are all coxcombs, and I am afraid you are no exception to the general rule. Y. Clac. Thank you, uncle; but may I this instant be struck old and peevish, if I would put you upon a false scent to expose you, for all the fine women in christendom. I assure you again and again, and you may take my word, uncle, that Miss Harriet has no kind of aversion to your nephew and most humble servant. Sir C. Ay, ay,-vanity!-vanity-but I never take a young fellow's word about women; they'll lie as fast, and with as little conscience, as the Brussels Gazette. Produce your proofs. Y. Cla. Can't your eyes see 'em, uncle, without urging me to the indelicacy of repeating 'em. Sir C. Why I see nothing but a fool's head and a fool's coat, supported by a pair of most unpromising legs. Have you no better proofs ? Y. Clac. Yes, I have, my good infidel uncle, half a hundred. Sir C. Out with them then. Y. Clac. First then-whenever I see her, she never looks at me. That's a sign of love. Whenever I speak to her, she never answers me.-Another sign of love. And whenever I speak to any body else, she seems to be perfectly easy. That's a certain sign of love. Sir C. The devil it is! Y. Clac. When I am with her, she's always grave; and the moment I get up to leave her, then the poor thing begins" why will you leave me, Mr Clackit; can't you sacrifice a few moments to my bashfulness? stay, you agreeable runaway, stay, I shall soon over come the fears your presence gives me."-I could more, but a man of honour, uncle say Sir C. What, and has she said all these things to you? Y. Clac. O yes, and ten times more with her eyes. Sir C. With her eyes!-eyes are very equivocal, Jack. However, if the young lady has any liking to you, Mr Heartly is too much a man of the world, and too much my friend, to oppose the match; so do you walk into the garden, and I will open the matter to him. Y. Clac. Is there any objection to my staying, uncle? the business will be soon ended. You will propose the match, he will give his consent, I shall give mine, miss is sent for, and l'affair est fait. [Snapping his finger. Sir C. And so you think that a young beautiful heiress, with forty thousand pounds, is to be had with a scrap of French, and a snap of your finger. Prithee get away, and don't provoke me. Y. Clac. Nay, but, my dear uncle Sir C. Nay, but my impertinent nephew, either retire, or I'll throw up the game. [Putting him out. Y. Clac. Well, well, I am gone, uncle. When you come to the point, I shall be ready to make my appearance.-Bon voyage! [Exit. Sir C. The devil's in these young fellows, I think -we send 'em abroad to cure their sheepishness, and they get above proof the other way. Enter Mr HEArtly, Good morrow to you, neighbour. Heart. And to you, Sir Charles; I am glad to see you so strong and healthy. Sir C. I can return you the compliment, my friend ; without flattery, you don't look more than thirty. five; and, between ourselves, you are on the wrong side of forty-but mum for that. Heart. Ease and tranquillity keep me as you see. Sir C. Why don't you marry, neighbour? a good wife would do well for you. Heart. For me? you are pleased to be merry, Sir Charles. Sir C. No faith, I am serious, and had I a daughter to recommend to you, you should say me nay more than once, I assure you, neighbour Heartly, before I would quit you. Heart. I am much obliged to you. Sir C. But indeed, you are a little too much of the philosopher, to think of being troubled with women and their concerns. Heart. I beg your pardon, Sir Charles; though there are many who call themselves philosophers, that live single, and perhaps are in the right of it, yet I cannot think that marriage is at all inconsistent with true philosophy. It is not because I have a little philosophy, but because I am on the wrong side of forty, Sir Charles, that I desire to be excused. [Smiling. Sir C. As you please, sir; and now to my business-you have no objection, I suppose, to tie up your ward, Miss Harriet, though you have slipped the collar yourself-ha! ha! ha! Heart. Quite the contrary, sir; I have taken her some time from the boarding-school, and brought her home, in order to dispose of her worthily, with her own inclination. Sir C. Her father, I have heard you say, recommended that particular care to you, when she had reached a certain age. Heart. He did so; and I am the more desirous to obey him scrupulously in this circumstance, as she will be a most valuable acquisition to the person who shall gain her. She is gentle, modest, and obliging. |