THE PADLOCK,

A

FARCE,

IN TWO ACTS.

AS PERFORMED AT THE

THEATRE ROYAL, COVENT-GARDEN.

BY

MR ISAAC BICKERSTAFFE.

THE PADLOCK.

ACT I.

SCENE L-A Garden belonging to DON DIEGO'S

House.

Don DIEGO enter's, musing.

Thoughts to council-let me see-
Hum- -to be or not to be

A husband, is the question.
A cuckold! must that follow?
Say what men will,
Wedlock's a pill

Bitter to swallow,

And hard of digestion.

But fear makes the danger seem double.
Say, Hymen, what mischief can trouble
My peace, should I venture to try you
My doors shall be lock❜d,
My windows be block'd;
No male in my house,

Not so much as a mouse :
Then, horns, horns, I defy you.

Dieg. Ursula !

Enter URSULA.

Urs. Here, an't please your worship,

Dieg. Where is Leonora ?
Urs. In her chamber, sir?

Dieg. There is the key of it; there the key of the best hall; there the key of the door upon the first flight of stairs; there the key of the door upon the second; this double locks the hatch below, and this the door that opens into that entry.

Urs. I am acquainted with every ward of them.

Dieg. You know, Ursula, when I took Leonora from her father and mother, she was to live in the house with me three months; at the expiration of which time, I entered into a bond of four thousand pistoles, either to return her to them spotless, with half that sum for a dowry, or make her my true and lawful wife.

Urs. And I warrant you they came secretly to inquire of me whether they might venture to trust your worship. Lord! said I, I have lived with the gentleman nine years and three quarters, come Lammas, and never saw any thing uncivil by him in my life; nor no more I ever did: and, to let your worship know, if I had, you would have mistaken your person; for I bless heaven, though I'm poor, I'm honest, and would not live with any man alive that should want to handle me unlawfully.

Dieg. Ursula, I do believe it: and you are particularly happy, that both your age and your person exempt you from any such temptation. But be this as it will, Leonora's parents, after some difficulty, consented to comply with my proposal; and, being fully satisfied with their daughter's temper and conduct, which I wanted to be acquainted with, this day being the expiration of the term, I am resolved to fulfil my bond, by marrying her to-morrow.

Urs. Heaven bless you together.

Dieg. During the time she has lived with me, she has never been a moment out of my sight; and now me, Ursula, what you have observed in her.

tell

Urs. All meekness and gentleness, your worship; and yet, I warrant you, shrewd and sensible; egad, when she pleases, she can be as sharp as a needle.

Dieg. You have not been able to discover any particular attachments?

Urs. Why, sir, of late I have observed→→→→
Dieg. Eh! how! what?

Urs. That she has taken greatly to-→→→
Dieg. To what?

Urs. To the

young

kitten.

Dieg. O! is that all?

Urs. Ay, by my faith, I don't think she is fond of any thing else.

Dieg. Of me, Ursula ?

Urs. Aye, aye, of the kitten and your worship, and her birds, and going to mass. I have taken notice of late, that she is mighty fond of going to mass, as your worship lets her, early of a morning.

Dieg. Well! I am now going to her parents, to let them know my resolution; I will not take her with me, because, having been used to confinement, and it being the life I am determined she shall lead, it will be only giving her a bad habit. I shall return with the good folks to-morrow morning; in the mean time, Ursula, I confide in your attention; and take care, as you would merit my favour.

Urs. I will indeed, your worship; nay, if there's a widow gentlewoman in all Salamanca fitter to look after a young maiden

Dieg. Go, and send Leonora to me.

Urs. I know the world, sir, though I say't:

I'm cautious and wise;

And they who surprise

My prudence nodding,
Must sit up late.
Never fear, sir;

Your safety's here, sir;

Yes, yes,

I'll answer for miss;