many thunders, he said, the flashes of lightning bursting as he spake, "This people draweth near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; put away from among you that accursed evil, and worship the Lord with your souls, as well as your bodies, with your hearts as well as your voices, or look for destruction even in the embraces of your idol."

This said, he hurled his brands amongst the people, and terribly disturbed many of them; indeed it was something alarming to see them look so ghastly, and tremble at his fearful menaces. In their first alarm, they were for removing the goddess out of the temple, for fear of immediate destruction; but being a little recovered from their fright, the far greater part found such relentings towards her ladyship, that they could not bear the thoughts of parting with her, believing still, in despite of Moses, that her comely presence was highly necessary to render religion tolerable; and rather than part with her, they resolved to part with the temple of God itself.

Some few of them indeed were resolute for her removal, deeming the urgent command of the heavenly accuser not at all unreasonable but their company was very inconsiderable, and their strength inadequate to the enterprise; when they attempted to remove her, they could not so much as move her feet off from the pedestal; and notwithstanding the command was urgent, the far greater part of the people could not help, even in the midst of their devotion, looking towards the idol with an approving countenance, and there she stands to this day, adored by most, and a snare even to the virtuous and good.

AVAR. Great and manifold are the services which that ornamented idol hath done to our government, amongst both preachers and others; for many of the sacerdotal tribe have not the least view in their preaching beyond a genteel living and further preferment; to which end, adulation and flattery is more studied than the Gospel. If they can but get the world to smile upon them, they desire no more. Give them riches and honour, they may preach the Gospel who will, for them. Let the people only pay their dues punctually, they may choose, for the parson, whether they will serve God or the devil, whether they will go to heaven or hell. Brave days, gentlemen.

INFID. Yes, Avaro, the times are not to be complained of; nor indeed have they been bad for many hundreds of years, if circumstances are duly attended to. But to my story. In process of time men became sensible, that unless the heart were fixed upon God, in acts of religious worship, their services could not be acceptable; but how to fix them they could not find. Being afraid the result of their enquiries might prove dangerous to my interest, if not interrupted, I advised them to make to themselves representations of God, in wood, stone, brass, or iron, but rather of silver, or gold; alledging, that the more

valuable the metal, the more acceptable the sacrifice would be.

. The sons of men no sooner heard than approved of my scheme, and resolved forthwith to put it into execution. Then ere you were aware every village was furnished with one or two god-makers, a set of artificers, from whom our present saintmakers in Italy, Spain, Portugal, &c. are descended; for modern times have not changed, but only given a different name to this craft, by which the popish parsons get their wealth.

But, alas! having never seen the shape of God, at any time, they were obliged to form their images in the mould of their own fancies, which being various, it came to pass, that in one place, the invisible Deity was likened to an old man, with a venerable long beard, grasping a bunch of reeds, which they called thunder. In another place he was represented as half man and half beast; yea, so curious were the fancies of the artists, that in one place God Almighty was made like a fish, in another like an eagle, or hawk, and in another like a log of wood, and indeed sometimes like a beast with four feet. So very briskly was this trade carried on, that all who were able to buy, had in a few years one or more god-almighties, of man's making, in their own houses. The very same as our good friends, the papists, have got almost every one a saviour in his pocket or chamber. In the holy Roman church, you may find in every house, a Jesus Christ of one kind or another, for there be many sorts of Jesus Christs, as golden Jesus Christs, silver Jesus Christs, wooden, and even paper Jesus Christs, all made with as much craft as the ancient pagan gods.

AVAR. That trade of shrine-making among the papists, is a good sort of trade, but I can tell you it falls far short of the craft of saint worshipping, by which the priests get their wealth. Many a wooden saint there is in the holy church, which hath brought into the priests' treasury above six times its weight in gold. And indeed the pagan priests reaped equal benefit from their gods, from whence we learn that priesteraft hath been the same in all ages.

INFID. Some people there were, of more refined knowledge than their neighbours, who advised against the trade of godmaking, saying, "We must not bow down to graven, nor molten images, nor in any wise worship them." My priests, according to my directions, answered as follows, "It is not the image which you worship, nor do you at all bow your knee to it; but being emblematic of the divine presence, it greatly assists you in your devotion." This learned reasoning calmed the consciences of most of the dissenters; won them over to the religion by law established, and greatly wrought for the good of the church.

DIS. Why, sir, that is the very apology which the papists make for image worship, relic adoration, &c. but indeed it is no

wonder, seeing their religion is one and the same with that of

the pagan.

INFID. Some few there were, rigid non-conformists, who insisted that God must be worshipped in spirit and in truth; insisted that all idolatrous lumber should be cast out of the temple; by which the worthy clergymen of that age were so grievously galled, that they were forced, in a pious and tender manner, first to give up the heretics to the devil, and then put the flesh to death for the salvation of the soul: in the very same manner (and for much the same cause) as the holy Roman fathers excommunicated and burned the protestants. But the devil knows to his sad experience, that the church has not half the power she pretends to, for out of the vast numbers which she hath generously given to him, it is but a very few he hath been able to receive: notwithstanding both the pagan, papal, and other churches, have hereby shewn the goodwill which all along they have borne to him and his interest.

Having fairly introduced idolatry, I tried, if possible, to lead them further off from their Maker still, and for this end, I brought in gods and goddesses a numerous train; for instance, if any man was more remarkable than others, for murdering his neighbours, or for giving large gifts to the church, i. e. the clergy, I got him deified as soon as he died, and had worship offered to him, in the same degree with saint-worship in the church of Rome; for saint-worship and hero-worship, differ only in name.

Indeed it is but doing justice to saints in the Romish calendar, to observe, that the greatest part of them obtained their saintships for murdering of princes, massacring protestants, robbing their heirs for the good of the church, or for raving mad enthusiasm. Well, I went on and prospered, till I had brought all the world, a few individuals excepted, to worship the works of the mason, carpenter, blacksmith, or founder. Encourage but any trade, and it is sure to prosper: the god-making trade heing universally encouraged, prospered exceedingly; for in a little time there were national gods, much the same with the seven champions of Christendom, provincial gods; county gods; parish gods; and even household gods, to the great emolument of the clergy. I think, gentlemen, you must all allow, that I have not spent my time in idleness among mankind.

FAST. No, no, brother, idleness don't suit you and me; we will leave it to foolish men and women so to spend their lives; but we will fulfil the old proverb in use among them, viz. The devil is never idle. Let them enjoy their idleness in this world, we shall very likely find them enough to do in the next.

INFID. I think it is something more than seventeen hundred and sixty years agone that I had a trial of a very extraordinary nature to grapple with, such as I never had before then, nor ever shall encounter while I breathe the sulphurous smoke of the pit

Oh, it was a sore trial, gentlemen. Immanuel, a very dear lover of men, having sat on the circle of heaven for near four thousand years, with much relenting of mind, and longing for human happiness, from thence beheld the dreadful havoc I made in the world, rendering the whole posterity of Adam, the children of wrath. Often did he call to the inhabitants of the earth to take me up and burn me for a witch, but they were too much my friends to regard his advice; and indeed, had they regarded, it would have been an undertaking such as they could not execute without auxiliary strength. He sat long, and long he wondered that there was no friend to help against so potent an adversary; when at last he saw there were none to help, he arose from his jasper seat, and in a transport of love declared that his own arm should bring salvation. According to the high determination, he dismantled himself of the robes of manifest glory, laid aside his imperial diadem, which irradiates all the coasts of light, posted down to this world, on the wings of compassion, resolving to conquer by dying.

Alarmed at such an unprecedented enterprise, I dispatched ou swift-winged courier with all possible speed to hell, to inform my great father, and the infernal divan of the astonishing event. As soon as fame reported her story, the monarch summoned his peers to meet him in the flaming council chamber, there to de i berate on the matter, and having maturely weighed every circum.. stance of it, it was resolved to dispatch the devil Maievolus Fastosus and me, with directions suitable to the occasion. That he, with Ambitiosus, Perfidia, Falax, and me, should take up our residence at Jerusalem, with the scribes, pharisees, and doctors of the law. We immediately obeyed our instructions, and succeeded admirably in our embassy. At the same time Crudelis and Concupiscentia were appointed plenipotentiaries to the tetrarchical court of Galilee, where they received infallible test monies of Herod's esteem.

Against the time that Immanuel was to be revealed, Herod admitted our cousin Suspiciosus to frequent audiences, of which the devil Crudelis to his everlasting honour greatly availed himself. He persuaded the Tetrarch, that for his own safety it was highly necessary he should kill, destroy, and cause to perish, al. the children in Bethlehem, from two years old and under, in order that young Immanuel, who was formerly called the ancien of days, might be involved in the general massacre. This was the opening of our evangelic campaign, since which time we have caused the shedding of as much Christian blood, as if collected into one mass, would make a tide as deep as ever was seen at London Bridge.

At this time there appeared one John Baptist, a zealous Nazarene, and harbinger to Immanuel; he was likely to do great injury to our interest; therefore it was thought best to have him.

destroyed, which by thy means, Discordans, we happily accomplished in part. Perhaps, Discordans, you can give a better account of that affair than 1, as you were more deeply concerned in it.

Dis. I do not know that, uncle, but I am ready to tell you what hand I had in it. You all know the man, and a trusty friend of ours he was, as any in his day. You know he most inordinately loved Herodias, his own brother Philip's wife, and by the direction of our friend Concupiscentia, he added incest to his adultery, by taking her to his bed. It was about this time, that this famous Baptist, the founder of the sect called by his name, began his public ministry, and fearless of man, exclaimed against all manner of uncleanness, for he was faithful to his commission. Well, this same austere baptist took occasion one day in the following manner, to reprove the tetrarch for his lewdness; "Herod," said he, "the God who made thee hath for his own glory exalted thee to the tetrarchical dignity, but far from studying his honour, thou actest most unworthily, and turnest his goodness to thee into wantonness. Dost not thou know, that the same God who made thee ruler in Galilee, hath said, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery;' put her therefore away from thee; if thou dost not, thou must expect that the Most High will mingle for thee the cup of his indignation."

I was then at the court of Galilee, and did not fail to improve the Baptist's admonition to the most fatal purposes; I transformed myself into the likeness of a grave courtier, a form very familiar to me; went up to the king, and held my inverting mirror before his eyes, bidding him to take a full view of the matter thus: as my humble servant he did as I directed, and immediately said, "I perceive this field-preacher, this same Baptist, is an enemy to the Roman government, and because I am a friend to Cæsar, he hath taken this advantage against me; doubtless to prejudice the minds of the people, either to the divesting me of the tetrarchical power or to the subversion of Cæsar's government."

"

When I had brought him thus to misconstrue the honest designs of the Baptist, I held my partial telescope to his eye, through which he looked with great attention, and as he looked, said, "What a presumptuous wretch is this, to take upon him to reprove me! Me, who am his lord and master, and can soon destroy both him and his father's house. Must Herod be reproved by this despicable fellow with the rough garment? Is it now so low with Caesar's deputy, the tetrarch of Galilee, that he must mildly bear the insolence of every snarling peasant. No, it is inconsistent with our dignity, to let such daring boldness pass with impunity. If a courtier, or nobleman clothed ir. soft raiment, had taken a little liberty with me it might have been borne. But for this field-preacher. This baptist, hah!"