January 4, 1821. I am in a quiet and happy frame. My future path and circumstances look peaceful, because they will be just what my God pleases. It is my settled desire never to sit down as at home, on this side Jordan. To be the Servant of God, living, and dying, and in eternity;-this is happiness.

6. This day I set apart as a day of fasting and prayer, (not absenting myself from my family,) in reference, particularly to my dear little Joshua; that, having been graciously carried through his weaning, he may be wholly the Lord's. Notwithstanding interruptions, I have had a very solemn day. I read in the morning parts of the 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 9th chapters of Deuteronomy. I had a sweet and solemn sense of the unchangeableness of God, and of his gracious covenant, and of my obligation to believe in the certainty of all his engagements. I viewed the covenant made with the children of Israel and their seed, many hundred years ago, as the same, substantially, with that which believers are permitted to embrace now. Oh the mar-` vellous grace of God! As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are his ways higher than our ways, and his thoughts than our thoughts! Some part of the time, I think I felt a wrestling spirit in prayer; a sense of the presence of my God, of the meanness of temporal things, of the wonderful grace manifested in God's entering into covenant with me, a transgressor, a rebel; some sweet assurance that he will be my God, and the God of my children; and some precious consolation in the reflection, that all this grace is not promised for my worthiness sake, but on account of the obedience unto death of the incarnate Son of God, that it is the pur chase of his infinite merits. Oh to cleave to this covenant for ever!

I feel as if I have gained some strength to-day. It has been, on the whole, a good season! though my mind

was, a part of the time, disturbed by interruptions.And now, Lord, I take thee for my portion, and the portion of my children for ever! Accept me and them as thy servants, thy children; and do with us according to thy word! Amen, and amen.

12. I expect Mr. and Mrs. W. next week. My mind is calm and tranquil. Unused as I am to the kind of care which their boarding with me will occasion, especially connected with the peculiarities of the case, so wounding to memory and to nature, I cannot but feel that, much as I love Mr. W., and much as I expect to love his wife, this is a trial. When it was first proposed to me, I thought it could not be. But it is so evidently the call of duty, that I dare not refuse. And I feel so much peace in the desire I have to glorify God, that I am willing he should choose the way. It seems very unimportant to me how other matters go, if my God will enable me to be his servant, and to glorify him. 155 None of us liveth to himself," has been a sweet text to me of late. So would I live, blessed Saviour! for ever. Amen! O

!!

13 Surely I have reason, if any one has, to feel like a stranger and a pilgrim on the earth All the ties of near relationship, my children excepted, by which I was bound to this world, have been, one after another, sundered. And now I wish never to have any of these earthly ties renewed. My relationships are in heaven; I feel a peculiar, peaceful, melancholy satisfaction in this consciousness, daily. It seems like a still small voice from the world of spirits, admonishing me to be girding myself to my journey, and setting my face homeward. It is well, Father, it is well. Only help me to cling to thee for ever; only remember me, in life and in death; and I ask no other portion. Thou knowest best. Do with me as seemeth good unto thee. st I 19. In conversation with a mere child of the world, to-day, my natural vivacity and openness led me to a

cheerful and lively carriage, which, I am afraid had the appearance of levity. But it was very far from my heart. I am sometimes in danger from this quarter, notwithstanding all the discipline with which I have been exercised. I do believe it is a settled principle of my heart to desire to glorify God. This is my joy; that for which I wish to live, to die, to be raised again. But, alas! though this is with me a settled principle, how deficient am I in its habitual application! How often do I lose sight of it! or rather, how seldom do I refer all that I do in the common affairs of life to this end! O Lord! teach thy sinful child to watch over these wandering affections, which so often get entangled in the things which my principles and my judgment do not regard as I regard thee! Let me not be diverted from the things not seen, by the deceiving trifles and cares of this visible, but transitory world!

TO MRS. H. OF BOSTON.

Boston, January 23, 1821.

I SHOULD have been concerned lest your kind and flattering commendations of me would produce an effect on my mind, which you, as well as myself, would disapprove, had I received them at an ordinary time. At present, however, I am passing through a course of discipline, which makes me feel that I am dust and ashes ; so that I am not in quite my usual danger of selfelation. I cannot but be affected with your tender expressions of kindness. But the more that I feel that I am nothing, the happier I am. And, my beloved friend, it is now my desire, hereafter to make the promotion of the glory of God my object, my end, my happiness. I wish to seek no other, to desire no other. But, oh! it is a hard lesson for poor, depraved nature. Yet I think I am willing to suffer, if I may but learn it. Oh, to remember heaven as my home; Christ as my portion; and myself as made only for Him, to be

his servant; and to let him choose the place where, and the work by which, I shall serve him; to lose my will in his, my interest in his; to love the Church because it is his body, and to choose nothing but what he chooses! This is what I am labouring after.

January 27. My birth-day. I am this day thirty. years old. I wished to have spent the day in fasting and prayer, but could not. I have had little opportunity or time for retirement, and my soul has consequently been in a languid, earthly frame. I can have no spiritual prosperity without more time for secret prayer than I have been able to devote to this important and delightful duty of late. Mr. and Mrs. W. came five days ago. My feelings have, thus far, been wonderfully less tried than I expected. Oh, to consecrate myself anew, soul, and body, and spirit, to the Lord, from this time forth, and for ever.

February 17. I have been, for some days past, in a state of criminal distance from God, of worldliness and of sloth. My secret prayers have been short, and hurried, and formal. I have been trying to have my heart broken before God to-night. I long for a humble, a contrite heart. To-morrow, I am, if providence permit, to attend the holy communion. There are several things for which I wish to be enabled to wrestle with God, when I draw near to him at his table; particularly grace to use all temporal mercies with a reference to his glory; to be more engaged and spiritual in family prayer; to redeem time, that I may have more opportunities for secret devotion; and to be humble, that I may not think so much of the good opinion of men. Next week is assigned for the ordination. I ought to be much in prayer for Mr. W. and the dear flock, as well as for myself and children. Oh, to weep over my sins! Blessed Saviour, let to-morrow be to me a strengthening, humbling season.

19. I enjoyed, I trust, something of the presence

of my Saviour yesterday. The grace of God, in taking such a worm, such a rebel as I am, in covenant with himself, is wonderful. Oh, what am I, and what is my father's house! I felt that I did not deserve the crumbs which fell from my Master's table. But hitherto I have been nourished with the children's bread. Oh, to glorify God, in my body and in my spirit, which are God's!

21. The day is past, which has given to this people another minister, to occupy the place of him who will ever live in my fond remembrance. I have not been in as prayerful a frame as I ought. My mind was too much occupied with personal feelings. And yet I hope I felt that I had no interests in opposition to those of God; and that the predominant desire of my heart was, that he would glorify himself. Oh, for humility! Oh, to go with my face in the dust, for ever! Backslider is my name. Yet, "whom he calls, them he also justifies; and whom he justifies, them he also glorifies." Here is my hope, in the unmerited, rich, sovereign, and unchanging love of God. Here I cast my anchor. Here let me take up my rest for ever.

Boston, March 9, 1821. My dear S. I have been reading a letter of yours, this afternoon, with which I was much interested; and, although I do not expect to suggest to your mind any new truths in reference to your present circumstances, I feel a strong desire to write a few lines to you this evening. This desire results, if I know my own heart, from an earnest wish for your welfare, and the humble hope of saying something which the great Searcher of hearts may be pleased to bless to you.

I have many reasons, my dear S., for being interested in you. I love you for your parents' sake; and I love you, as being one of the lambs of that flock of which my