to Christ. I saw or heard little of his praises in their mouths; the end of their conversation was not Christ. 2dly, I thought on the main controverted principles, and clearly saw them of the devil. I looked on the inward testimony and guiding of the Spirit (as they say) in the heart, but as a device of Satan to cast off the Scriptures, that he, deluding their spirits, and they giving way to their own corrupt imaginations, might close with any evil he should suggest; and besides, I saw it flat contrary to the Scriptures by which Christ was led, and which were given that we might believe and learn to fear God. 3dly, They denied the sovereignty of God in maintaining free-will and all in man's power, which I saw manifestly cross to the Scriptures. 4thly, I saw clearly that they walked in a covenant of works; for their way of justification and happiness was only taking heed to the light within, and obeying it, and by so doing to come to eternal life; and this I could never digest. 5thly, I looked on their casting aside a standing ministry and ordinances, and not praying but when the Spirit moveth, as so many hellish inventions of Satan, and great presumptuous arrogancy, and the effects of a slothful spirit, and the design of all to draw from the simplicity of the Gospel. 6thly, I saw they walked by sense and feeling, and not by faith. 7thly, I saw and considered that those that they made their prey were ordinarily but only old jaded professors, that never found the constant satisfying sweetness of their own religion, and in time wearying of it, and not able to resist the strong temptations of spiritual enemies, and in a word wanting rest in Christ, because never truly united to him, have in time withered, and, like the unclean spirit, seeking rest and finding none, have here at last stumbled. Nor have I ever been stumbled at any who fell that way, being known to have sense predominant in them that in time would lead them to it. In a word, I never knew any extraordinary tender walker, and knowing, continuing so, that stumbled in this; and this delusion seemed to me to be a particular judgment on adulterous professors, whereas the Gospel takes and apprehends all sorts. 8thly, I considered, that if there was any thing commendable in them, such as their unwillingness

to pray rashly, but in the Spirit, their waiting and close attending on the Spirit, their mortification to the world, their self-denial, their sobriety and temperance in all things, their freedom in reproving all sorts, and their diligence in exhorting all-I say, if there was any thing like this commendable in them, our own principles did lead us to these things, however we generally in our practice come short; and I looked on this foolish people as stirred up of God to upbraid his own people, and to teach them these things which they so much press. These things, with their personal infirmities and weakness which I observed, with other reasons which I now remember not, through the Lord's blessing had such influence as made me utterly abhor them, the Lord in all this instructing me with a strong hand.

§ 2. During this time likewise I began to forsake the prelates and curates, and did forbear to hear them. The steps by which I went were, 1. For a long time I heard without any scruple, but never could I get any good, and I found the outward ordinances do me less good than formerly; yea, when privately, I got good; nor could I after examination find any cause in me of this. 2. The curate's preaching did me ill at last, insomuch, that when I would come to sermon in any frame, I would come from it dead and heartless; and, when I went indisposed, I would be far worse. Thus I continued for a long time; and many times I observed this, but could not imagine the cause: yet at length I was suspicious that this might be the cause, especially when withdrawing became a doubtsome case in the kingdom, which began to be about the time that there was an act made against it. 3. Suspecting the matter, I began to examine it; and at first view my affections began to be engaged for the negative, ere yet my judgment was determined: and, by looking to it, I found the weakness of the chief grounds for hearing, by considering that the naked act of preaching was not an ordinance of God (otherwise women, madmen, children, yea, and devils, could preach) unless by men sent. I saw likewise that the Church could not make choice of them whom God had in his word discharged. I saw likewise that we

VOL. 11.

N

might separate from those that were never excommunicate. I was convinced likewise that the true visible Church did not stand so much in the multitude as in the serious professors of the truths of God; and that these few, continuing faithful, were rather to be followed than the multitude. Having laid these principles, a door was open. 4. I went a good while contrary to my inclinations; and one day going, I was compelled to return back again, and durst not for terror go forwards. Upon which I prayed to God, that if he were displeased with my going, he would give me some sign thereof, and that he might be pleased to bless my private exercises; which the Lord did, so as, in one afternoon while private, I gained more life and knowledge of God than I did a whole year before; by which I was much confirmed. 5. About the same time many providential considerations had influence with me; the universality of the godly and tenderest leaving them daily ; the extraordinary influence of God's Spirit on myself and others when separate from them; some sad consequences following such as did hear them; as likewise, I heard and knew of some under exercise for hearing of them, which much confirmed me, and made me think that God did own us in not hearing. I found that made out to me, "Be ye separate, and I will be a father to you." 6. By searching into the matter as a case of conscience, I found positive grounds for judging "withdrawing from them" a seasonable duty; as the frequent commands of God, to "separate from," to "let alone," and "beware of," and "flee from" corrupt guides, John x. 5; Mat. xv. 14. I thought the consequence of hearing to be a hardening and strengthening of them in their courses, and a destruction to the work of God: I looked on it as against nature to join and keep fellowship with such rebels, that, were so signally and avowedly against the Lord in arms; and I thought love to God compelled me to leave them. I likewise looked on hearing of them, (as it was an act of worship,) an owning of the authority of prelates; for "he that receiveth you, receiveth me; and he that receiveth me, receiveth him that sent me." For obedience to officers, when it is active, is an acknowledgment of their authority. I conceived I was otherwise bound by the covenant. And, lastly, I

judged my respect to the poor people of God, and who were generally injured for this cause, should make me run into them, and take the same lot with them in life or death, especially seeing they suffered upon that account. 7. Being to die, there was nothing that in my conscience got such an approbation from God as my separation from them. And, 8. To confirm all, I besought God by fasting on a day of humiliation set apart on purpose for this effect, beseeching God to reveal his mind unto me in this case; the result of which was, that there were new grounds given me of separation from them, and my former grounds confirmed; so that I continued in a separation from them to this day. Thus was I drawn from curates, and by these means, being now six years almost since I first left them.

§ 3. And now, being a little strengthened, and looking for good days, a cloud came and darkened my sky; for a grievous storm of outward afflictions did break out, which did indeed win into my soul, and which did increase and draw my former afflictions to a head; the steps of which were these, (1.) The great law business for which I came South, and had gotten done, was at once casten in the hows1 by those whose names I had borrowed to the pursuit, they discharging it; by which means my reputation was lost, and what I should gain by it; as likewise all my preparations against some debitors were made void, and I looked on this at that time no less than the loss of L.20,000. (2.) I lost through my absence from the North, and want of advertisement South, 800 merks per annum, which were comprised formerly, and now recovered by the creditors, which afterwards I strove to hinder all I could, and to regain, but all in vain, and to no purpose, but laying out of needless expenses; so as I behoved to live on my mother's bounty, and had not wherewith to spend or do business. (3.) And, to help this, other 200 merks per annum were evicted from me about the same time, through want of money to defend it, and bad securities. (4.) Nor was this enough. After I came home I could not get rest nor freedom to enjoy myself, but was charged before two courts at one

1 Thrown down, rendered unavailing.

time most violently, for no less than 12,000 merks alleged due by my father, and a wrongous ejection, which kept me continually travelling, and put me to great charges to maintain these two actions, being likewise at the same time charged South. (5.) There were likewise some small debts which I was owing here and there, extending in all to L.1000, for which I was daily harassed by several persons, so that South, North, East, and West, I could not turn me where I had not a creditor,-which I confess troubled me more than all the rest, as having my credit engaged therein; and that which I had ordered to pay them was taken away, nor knew I what to do. One mercy I had, my health was continued. (6.) Nothing now remained of all my father's great fortune but a small wadset of sixteen chalders, liferented likewise by my mother. And about the same time a new (though an unjust) adversary charges both her and me for 36,000 merks, and a reduction of our rights; so that our whole livelihood was either gone or at the stake. For four years did this adversary vex us, and was like to have undone us as to our temporal condition, had not the Lord prevented. (7.) To this was added contempt and reproach; I was the table-talk of the times then; "Behold a man smitten of God." I was a sign and wonder; the people of God were grieved; my nearest and surest friends forsook and looked strange on me, of whose kindness now I had proof, and whom of purpose I tried, though I knew they would not help me; I was as a burden to them, and by them despised. And whoever had anything to say, did now strike in against me; my enemies rejoiced, and myself at first was sore sunken. (8.) And, to complete all, there was no returning to him that smote me, and my strokes felled me, and at first I decayed in my spiritual condition; and thus was my spiritual condition from October to January 1665; all things were low both spiritually and temporally.

§ 4. The causes of these my troubles were either outward or from myself. The outward causes were, my authors' bad securities in their heritages, which were questioned in my time. 2. My father's cautionary for others, which hath been 48,000 merks out of my way. 3. His dying so soon, and leaving me so young. 4. The unskilfulness and negligence of those whom he intrusted with