142 SATURDAY EVENING. the warm blood filling his shoe. With succeeded in rolling himself on to the 5 strength. He fell the door, he called eagerly for help. As soon as he reached His terrified wife and into the house; as he was wholly unable to help himself: saying his foot was 9 nearly severed from the leg. He was laid carefully on the bed, groaning all the while very bitterly. His wife hastily 10 prepared dressings, and removed the shoe and sock, expecting to see a desperate wound, when, lo! the skin was not even broken. Before going out in the morning he wrapped 11 his feet in red flannel, to protect them from the cold: the gash laid this open to his view, and he thought it flesh and 12 blood. His reason not correcting the mistake, all the pain and loss of power which attends a real wound followed.13 Man often suffers more from imaginary evils than from real ones. DEFINITIONS, &c.-Started-went. Define sled, chopping, felled, alongside, unlucky, hit, bit, sidelong, gash, severed, sock, reason, (faculty of reasoning.) 12 SECT. CLVI.-SATURDAY EVENING. THE week is past the Sabbath-dawn comes on. 2 Rest rest in peace: thy daily toil is done; And standing, as thou standest on the brink Of a new scene of being, calmly think is now, Of what is gone, For, sure as this now closing week is past, Spirit of Good! on this week's verge I stand, A thousand graves my footsteps circumvent, 5 6 7 8 METHOD. A thousand writhe upon the bed of pain'; I live; and pleasure flows through every vein. Want o'er a thousand wretches waves her wand ; How can I praise thee, Father! how express While every moment swells the vast amount! 143 DEFINITIONS, &c.-Define brink, on eternity, (on the brink, verge of eternity,) circumvent, writhe, wand, circled, reverence, debt, memorial. SECT. CLVII.-METHOD. A LADY said to a clergyman that she could always recol1 lect and recite more of the matter of his sermons, than of those of any other minister she was in the habit of hearing. 2 She could not account for this, but she thought the fact worthy of notice. 3 The reverend gentleman remarked that he thought he 4 could explain the cause. "I happen," he said, "to make a particular point of classifying my topics; it is a hobby of mine to do so; and therefore I never compose a sermon without first settling the relation and order of my arguments and illustrations. Suppose, madam, that your servant was 5 starting for town, and you were obliged hastily to instruct her about a few domestic purchases, not having time to write down the items; and suppose you said, 'Be sure to bring some tea; and also some soap; and coffee too by the bye; and some indigo; and do not forget a few light cakes, and a little starch, and some sugar; and now I think of it, soda.' 6 You would not be surprised if her memory failed with regard to one or two of the articles'; but if your commission ran thus, 'Now, Mary, to-morrow we are going to have some friends to tea'; therefore bring a supply of tea and coffee and sugar and light cakes'; and the next day, you know, is washing-day'; so that we shall want soap and starch and soda and indigo';' it is most likely, she would retain your order as easily as you retain my sermon." 144 ABSURD CHRONOLOGY OF THE HINDOOS. SECT. CLVIII.-AMERICAN BATTLES. THE following are the comparative losses of the battles of the Revolution, arranged according to priority: DEFINITIONS, &c.-Define comparative, losses, revolution, (is any revolution meant?) arranged, according to, priority, total. 400 100 ..... 180 800 800 *100 500 1200 .... 600 350 600 1200 5752 surrendered. 500 32 400 130 260 211 ...... SECT. CLIX.-ABSURD CHRONOLOGY OF THE HINDOOS. 1 THE following is a view of their Chronology. There are 2 four yugs or ages: the first was the age of innocence or truth, and embraces 1,728,000 years: the second 1,296,000, the third 864,000, and the last 432,000: these are the 3 golden, silver, brazen, and iron ages. We live in the last 4 or Kali-yug: age of misery. A great age, Maha-yug, is REVOLUTIONARY OFFICERS. 66 66 145 5 equal to these four: 4,320,000 years of mortals. A solar year is equivalent to a day and night of the gods. 360 6 such days and nights, or 360 solar years, constitute a “ year of the gods." 12,000 years of the gods form an age of 7 the gods," or "divine age," or great age," which is equal 8 to 4,320,000 of men. Seventy-one Maha-yugs constitute a period called Manwantara; during which one Menu with 9 his posterity of sons and grandsons ruled the earth. There 10 are 14 Menus and 14 Manwantaras. These 14 Manwantaras are equal to 1000 Maha-yugs or one Kalpa, or 11 4,320,000,000 solar years. This is the day of Brahma. DEFINITIONS, &c.-Define chronology, embraces, (comprises, comprehonds,) solar, equivalent, constitute, (form, make,) period, posterity, grandsons, Brahma. SECT. CLX.-REVOLUTIONARY OFFICERS. 1 THE Cincinnati Advertiser gives the following record of the closing scenes of life, and resting-places of some of that gallant band of officers who figured in our Revolutionary struggle. 2 General Mercer is usually said to have been killed at the battle of Princeton, but really died of an epileptic fit, in that neighborhood, a week after that affair. The popular 3 notion is derived from the fact that he received a blow on the head from the butt end of a musket, in the hands of a 4 British soldier, in full retreat with his comrades. He was buried in Christ Church, Philadelphia. 5 Putnam was disabled from active service in the very middle of the strife, 1779, by a paralytic stroke; but he sur6 vived till 1790: being 72 years of age at his death. He was buried at Brooklyn, Conn. 7 Wayne died at Erie, Pa.; wher he was buried. At 8 a later date le body was transported to Chester county, Pa. Although nearly a quarter of a century had elapsed, 9 the lineaments of the deceased hero were distinctly visible; and the features were recognised by persons present: of course, the corpse crumbled to dust on exposure to the atmosphere. 10 Schuyler, who deserves all the credit of the capture of Burgoyne, of which he was deprived by General Gates, as 146 11 A COMPLIMENT TO THE SEX. suming the command, just as all the arrangements for the battle had been made at Saratoga, died at New York, 1804. Steuben, the Chevalier Bayard of our Revolution, after vainly endeavoring to obtain the fulfilment by Congress of their engagements to him, returned to Utica, New York; the legislature of which state voted him a township (six miles square) of land in that neighborhood. Here in an 12 humble log house he died, and was buried adjacent, in 1797. 13 St. Clair's last resting-place is at Greensburg, Westmoreland county, Pa.: a neat marble pyramid being erected over his remains by his Masonic brethren. 14 15 Mifflin, the idol of Pennsylvania, died in Lancaster, Pa., and was buried there. Maxwell, who commenced the battle of Brandywine, by opposing Knyphausen's troops, in their attempts to cross Chadd's Fort, died at Flemington, N. J. 16 Montgomery and McDougal are buried in New York: Alexander, Lord Sterling, at Albany: Parsons, at Marietta, Ohio: Morgan, the hero of Cowpens, at Winchester, Va. : Scott, in Kentucky: Knox, at Thomaston, Maine: Henry Lee, in Virginia: Charles Lee, lies at the foot of General Mercer's tomb in Christ Church, in Philadelphia. DEFINITIONS, &C.-Define revolutionary officers, Cincinnati, restingplaces, gallant, figured, epileptic fit, popular, (vulgar, common,) notion, (what is the difference between notion, opinion, conviction, truth, fact?) derived, (inferred,) butt end, musket, retreat, disabled, active service, paralytic, survived, transported, quarter of a century, elapsed, lineaments, deceased, distinct!, recognised, exposure, atmosphere, credit, (honor?) capture, Chevali r Bayard, (a celebrated knight, a Frenchman who lived several hund d years ago; what is a knight?) fulfilment, Congress, engagements (pledges, promises,) town hip, log house, adjacent, (in a place adja ent, near,) marble, pyramid, remains, (of what?) idol, opposing. SECT. CLXI.-A COMPLIMENT TO THE SEX. 1 DURING the progress of a protracted meeting, held in Johnstown, Ohio, by the Rev. Mr. C- of the Methodist ? |