ACT IV. SCENE I.—A Library. Enter SIR PERTINAX and COUNSELLOR SIBLE. always the best wi' sic a man; ye must even come up till his mark at yance, and let him know fra me, that I will secure him a seat for yane of those PLAU-vary boroughs. Sir P. No, no; come away, Counsellor Plausible-come away, I say; let them chew upon it -let them chew upon it. Why, Counsellor, did ye ever hear so impertinent, so meddling, and so obstinate a blockhead, ass that Sergeant Eitherside? confound the fallow, he has put me oot of aw temper! Plau. He is very positive, indeed, Sir Pertinax, and no doubt was intemperate and rude; but, Sir Pertinax, I would not break up the match notwithstanding for, certainly, even without the boroughs, it is an advantageous bargain, both to you and your son.. Plau. Oh! that will do, Sir Pertinax; that will do, I'll answer for it. Sir P. And further, I beg ye wull let him know, that I think myself obliged till conseeder him in this affair ass acting for me ass weel ass for my lord, ass a common friend till baith, and for the service he has already done us, mak' my special compliments till him; and pray let this soft, sterling, bit of paper be my faithful advocate till convince him what my gratitude further intends for his great [Gives him a bank-bill.] equity, in adjusting this agreement betwixt my lord's family and mine. Plau. Ha ha! ha! Sir Pertinax, upon my word this is noble-ay, ay! this is an eloquent bit of paper, indeed. Sir P. But, Plausible, do you think I wull give up the nomination till three boroughs? why, would rather give him twanty, nay, tharty thouSir P. Maister Plausible, in aw human dealsand pounds in any other part o' th' bargainings the most affectual method is that of ganging especially at this juncture, when votes are likely at yance till the vary bottom of a mon's heartto become so valuable-why, mon, if a certain for, if we expact that men should serve us, we affair comes on, they'll rise above five hundred must first win their affections by serving them---Oh! here they baith come! per cent. Plau. No doubt they will, Sir Pertinax-but what shall we do in this case? for Mr. Sergeant insists that you positively agreed to my lord's having the nomination to the three boroughs during his own life. Sir P. Why, yes, in the first sketch of the agreement I believe I did consent; but at that time, mon, my lord's affairs did not appear to be half so desparate ass I noow find they turn oot. Sir, he must acquiesce in whatever I demand, for I ha'e gotten him intill sic an hobble, that he canna exist without me. Plau. No doubt, Sir Pertinax, you have him absolutely in your power. Sir P. Vary weel; and ought not a mon till make his vantage of it? Plau. No doubt you ought, no manner of doubt; but, Sir Pertinax, there is a secret spring in this business that you do not seem to perceive, and which I am afraid governs the whole matter respecting these boroughs. Sir P. What spring do ye mean, Counsellor ? Plau. Why this: I have some reason to think that my lord is tied down, by some means or other, to bring Sergeant Eitherside in, the very first vacancy, for one of those boroughs-now that, I believe, is the sole motive why the sergeant is so very strenuous that my lord should keep the boroughs in his own power, fearing that you might reject him for some man of your own. Enter LORD LUMBERCOURT and SERGEANT Lord L. My dear Sir Pertinax, what could provoke you to break off this business so abruptly?--You are really wrong in the point; and if you will give yourself time to recollect, you will find that my having the nomination to the boroughs for my life, was a preliminary article and I appeal to Mr. Sergeant Eitherside here, whether I did not always understand it so. Serg. E. I assure you, Sir Pertinax, that in all his lordship's conversation with me upon this business, and in his positive instructions too, we always understood the nomination to be in my lord, durante vita, durante vita-clearly, clearly, beyond the shadow of a doubt. Sir P. Why then, my lord, till shorten the dispute, aw I can say, in answer till your lordship, is, that there has been a total mistake betwaxt us in that point-and therefore the treaty must end here-1 give it up-I wash hands of it for ever-for ever. my Plau. Well but, gentlemen, a little patience, pray. Sure this mistake, some how or other, may be rectified-Mr. Sergeant, pray let you and I step into the next room by ourselves, and reconsider the clause relative to the boroughs, and try if we cannot hit upon some medium that will be agreeable to both parties. Serg. E. Mr. Plausible, I have already considered the clause fully, am entirely master of the question, and my lord cannot give up the point; it is unkind, unreasonable, to expect it, and I shall never, never-on no account whatsoever shall I ever advise him to give it up. Sir P. Oh! my dear Plausible, ye are clever -yes, vary clever-ye ha'e hit upo' the vary string that has made aw this discord-O! I see it-I see it noow; but haud, haud-bide a wee bit a wee bit, mon-I ha'e a thought come intill my head-yes-I think noow, Plausible, Plau. Nay, Mr. Sergeant, I beg you will not wi' a little twist in oor negociation, that the vary misapprehend me-do not think I want his lordstring, properly tuned, may be still made to pro-ship to give up any point without an equivalent. duce the vary harmony we wish for--ya-yas, I Sir Pertinax, will you permit Mr. Sergeant and ha'e it-this sergeant I see understands business, me to retire for a few moments, to reconsider this and if I am not mistaken knows hoow till take a point about the three boroughs? hint. Plau. Oh! nobody better, Sir Pertinax. nobodv better. Sir P. Why then, Plausible, the short road is Sir P. Wi' aw my heart and saul, Maister Plausible, ainy thing till accommodate his lordship-ainy thing—ainy thing. Plau. What say you, my lord? Lord L. Nay, I submit it entirely to you and Mr. Sergeant. Plau. Come, Mr. Sergeant, let us retire. Lord L. Ay, ay, go, Mr. Sergeant, and hear what Mr. Plausible has to say, however. Serg. E. Nay, I will wait on Mr. Plausible, my lord, with all my heart; but I am sure I cannot suggest the shadow of a reason for altering my present opinion :-impossible, impossible, he cannot give them up; it is an opinion from which I never can depart. Plau. Well, well, do not be positive, Mr. Sergeant; do not be positive. I am sure, reason, and your client's conveniency, will always make you alter your opinion. Serg. E. Ay, ay, reason, and my client's conveniency, Mr. Plausible, will always control my opinion, depend upon it. Ay, ay! there you are right; Sir, I attend you. [Exeunt Lawyers. Sir P. I am sorry, my lord, extremely sorry, indeed, that this mistake has happened. Lord L. Upon honour, and so am I, Sir Perti nax. Sir P. But come noow, after aw, your lordship must allow ye ha'e been i' the wrong. Come, my dear lord, ye must allow that noow. Lord L. How so, my dear Sir Pertinax? Sir P. Not aboot the boroughs, my lord, for those I do not mind of a bawbee-but aboot yeer distrust of my friendship. Why, do ye think noow, I appeal till your ain breast, my lord; do ye think, I say, that I should ever ha'e refused or slighted your lordship's nomination till these boroughs? Lord L. Why really I don't think you would, Sir Pertinax; but one must be directed by one's lawyer, you know. Sir P. Ha! my lord, lawyers are a dangerous species of animals till ha'e any dependence upon -they are always starting punctilios and deeficulties among friends. Why, my dear lord, it is their interest that aw mankind should be at variance; for disagreement is the vary manure wi' which they enrich and fatten the land of leetigation; and as they find that that constantly produces the best crop, depend upon it they wull always be sure till lay it on ass thick ass they can. Lord L. Come, come, my dear Sir Pertinax, you must not be angry with the sergeant for his insisting so warmly on this point for those boroughs, you know, are my sheet anchor. Sir P. I know it, my lord; and as an instance of my promptness to study, and my acquiescence till your lordship's inclination, ass I see that this Sergeant Eitherside wishes ye weel, and ye him, I think noow he would be as gude a mon to be returned for yane of those boroughs as could be pitched upon, and ass such I humbly recommend him to your lordship's consideration. Lord L. Why, my dear Sir Pertinax, to tell you the truth, I have already promised him; he must be in for one of them; and that is one reason why I insisted so strenuously he must be in. Sir P. And why not?-why not? is nae yeer word a fiat? and wull it nae be always so till me? are ye nait my friend, my patron? and are we nait by this match of our children to be united intill yane interest : Lord L. So I understand it, I own, Sir Pertinax. Sir P. My lord, it canna be otherwise then for heaven's sake, ass your lordship and I ha'e but yane interest for the future, let us ha'e nae mair words aboot these paltry boroughs, but conclude the agreement at yance-just as it standsotherwise there must be new writings drawn, new consultations of lawyers; new objections and delays will arise, creditors wull be impatient and impertinent-so that we shall nae finish the Lord knows when. Lord L. You are right, you are right; say no more, Mac, say no more-split the lawyers-you judge the point better than all Westminster-hall could-it shall stand as it is yes, it shall be settled your own way, for your interest and mine are the same, I see plainly. Oh! here the lawyers come-so gentlemen-well, what have ye done-how are your opinions now? Enter COUNSELLOR PLAUSIBLE and SERGEANT EITHERSIDE. Serg. E. My lord, Mr. Plausible has convinced me-fully convinced me, that the boroughs should be given up to Sir Pertinax. Plau. Yes, my lord, I have convinced him--Į have laid such arguments before Mr. Sergeant, as were irresistible. Serg. E. He has, indeed, my lord; for when I come to consider the long friendship that has subsisted between your lordship and Sir Pertinax; the great and mutual advantages that must attend this alliance; the various foreclosings, seizing, distracting, and in short every shape of ruin that the law can assume; all which must be put in force, should this agreement go off; and as Sir Pertinax gives his honour, that your lordship's nomination shall be sacredly observed, why, upon a nearer review of the whole affair, I am convinced that it will be the wiser measure to conclude the agreement just as it is drawn-just as it is drawn, my lord: it cannot be more to your advantage. Lord L. I am very glad you think so, Mr. Sergeant, because that is my opinion too-so, my dear Eitherside, do you and Plausible despatch the business now as soon as possible. Serg. E. My lord, every thing will be ready for signing in less than an hour-come, Mr. Plausible, let us go and fill up the blanks, and put the last hand to the writings, on our part. Plau. I attend you, Mr. Sergeant. [Exeunt Lawyers. Lord. L. And while the lawyers are preparing the writings, Sir Pertinax, I will go and saunter with the women. Sir P. Do, do, my lord, and I wull come to you presently. Lord L. Very well, my dear Mac, I shall expect you. [Exit singing. Sir P. So a leetle flattery, mixed wi' the finesse of a guilded promise on yane side, and a quantum sufficit of the aurum palpabile on the other, have at last made me the happiest father in Great Britain, and feel nothing but dignity and elevation. Haud! haud! bide a wee! bide a wee! I ha'e yane leetle mair in this affair till adjust, and then, Sir Pertinax, ye may dictate till fortune herself, and send her till govern feuls; while ye show, and convince the world that wise men always govern her. Wha's there? Enter SAM. Tell my son Egerton I would speak wi' him Now I ha'e settled the grand point [Exit. SAM. wi' my lord, this I think is the proper juncture | public business has twa consciences; mind, Sir, till feel the political pulse of my spark, and yance for aw till set it to the exact measure that I would ha'e it constantly beat, Enter EGERTON. Come hither, Charles. Eger. Your pleasure, Sir? Sir P. About twa hours since I told you, Charles, that I received this letter express, complaining of your brother's acteevity at an election i' the north, against a particular friend of mine; which has given great offence; and, Sir, ye are mentioned in the letter, ass weel ass he. To be plain, I must roundly tell ye, that on this interview depends my happiness, ass a mon and a faither, and my affection till ye, Sir, ass a son, for the remainder of your days. Eger. I hope, Sir, I shall never do any thing either to forfeit your affection, or disturb your happiness. twa consciences; a releegious and a poleetical conscience-you see a mairchant, or a shopkeeper, that kens the science of the world, always luocks upon an oath in a custom-house, or behind a counter, only as an oath in business-a thing of course-a mere thing o' course, that has naething till do wi' releegion; and just so it is at an election, exactly the same-for instance, noow, I am a candidate-pray observe-I gang till a periwig-maker, a hatter, or a hosier, and I give ten, twanty, or tharty guineas, for a periwig, a hat, or a pair of hose, and so on through a majority o' voters; vary weel, what is the consequence? why, this commercial intercourse, ye see, begets a friendship betwixt us, and in a day or twa, these men gang and give me their suffrages. Weel, what is the inference, pray, Sir? can ye, or ainy lawyer, divine, or casuist, caw this a bribe? nae, Sir, in fair poleetical reasoning, it is ainly generosity on the yane side, and gratitude on the ither-so, Sir, let me ha'e na mair of yeer releegious or philosophical refinements; but prepare-attend-and speak till the question, or ye are nae son o' mine-Sir, I insist upon it. Sir P. I hope so too; but to the point-the fact is this. There has been a motion made this vary day, to bring on the grand affair, which is settled for Friday se'nnight: noow, Sir, ass ye are popular, ha'e talents, and are weel heard, it is expacted, and I insist upon it, that ye endeavour till atone for yeer misconduct, by preparing and Sam. Sir, my lord says the writings are now taking a lairge share in that question, and sup-ready, and his lordship and the lawyers are waitporting it wi' aw your poower. ing for you and Mr. Egerton. Eger. But, Sir, I hope you will not so exert your influence, as to insist upon my supporting a measure by an obvious prostituted sophistry, in direct opposition to my character and my con science. Sir P. Conscience! did ye ever hear ainy man talk of conscience in poleetical maiters? conscience, quotha!-I ha'e been in parliament these three-and-tharty years, and never heard the term made use of before-Sir, it is an unparliamentary word, and ye wull be laughed at for it. Eger. Then, Sir, I must frankly tell you, that you work against my nature-you would connect me with men I despise, and press me into measures I abhor. For know, Sir, that the malignant ferment, which the venal ambition of the times provokes in the heads and hearts of other men-I detest. Sir P. What are ye aboot, Sir; with your malignant, yeer venal ambeetion, and your romantic nonsense? Sir, every mon should be ambeetious till serve his country-and every mon should be rewarded for it. And pray, Sir, would not ye wish till serve yeer country? answer me that, I say, would not ye wish till serve your country? Eger. Only show me how I can serve my country, and my life is her's.--Were I qualified to lead her armies, to steer her fleets, and deal her honest vengeance on her insulting foes; or could my eloquence pull down a state leviathan, mighty by the plunder of his country, black with the treasons of her disgrace, and send his infamy down to free posterity, as a monumental terror to corrupt ambition, I would be foremost in such service, and act it with the unremitting ardour of a Roman spirit. Sir P. Why, ye are mad, Sir; stark, staring, raving mad; certainly the fellow has been bitten by some mad whig or other! ye are vary youngvary young, indeed, in these matters; but experience wull convince ye, Sir, that every mon in Enter SAM. Sir P. Vary weel; we'll attend his lordship. [Exit SAM.] Come, Sir, let us gang doown and despatch the business. Going, is stopped by EGERTON Eger. Sir, with your permission, I beg you will first hear me a word or two upon this subject. Sir P. Weel, Sir; what would ye say? Eger. I have often resolved to let you know [Bows very low.] my aversion to this match. Sir P. Hoow, Sir? Eger. But my respect and fear of disobliging you, hitherto kept me silent. Sir P. Your avarsion! hoow dare ye use sic language till me? your avarsion! luock you, Sir, I shall cut the matter vary short-Conseeder-my fortune is nae inheritance; aw my ain aquiseetion; I can make ducks and drakes of it; so do not provoke me, but sign the articles directly. Eger. I beg your pardon, Sir; but I must be free on this occasion, and tell you at once, that I can no longer dissemble the honest passion that fills my heart for another woman. Sir P. Hoow! another woman! ah, ye villain, how dare ye love another woman without my parmission-but what other woman? wha is she? speak, Sir, speak. Eger. Constantia. [Bowing very low. Sir P. Constantia! Oh, ye profligate! what, a creature taken in for charity? Eger. Her poverty is not her crime, Sir, but her misfortune; and virtue, though covered with a village garb, is virtue still; therefore, Sir Sir P. Haud yeer jabbering, ye villain! haud yeer jabbering! none of yeer romance, or refinement, till me. I ha'e but yane question till ask ye, but yane question, and then I ha'e done wi' ye for ever--for ever-therefore think before ye answer; wull ye marry the lady, or wull ve break my heart? Eger. Sir, my presence shall not offend you any longer: but when reason and reflection take their turn, I am sure you will not be pleased with yourself for this unpaternal passion. [Going. Sir P. Tarry, I command you-and I command ye likewise not to stir till ye ha’e given me yane answer-a defeenitive answer-wull ye marry the lady, or wull ye not? Eger. Since you command me, Sir, know then, that I cannot-will not marry her. [Exit. Sir P. Oh! the villain has shot me through the head; he has cut my vitals! I shall run distracted there never was sic a bargain ass I ha'e made wi' this feulish lord-possession of his whole estate, wi' three boroughs upon it; sax members! why, what an acquiseetion, what consequence! what dignity, what weight till the house of Macsycophant-O! domn the fellow-three boroughs, only for sending doon six broomsticks-Oh! miserable; ever since this fallow came intill the world have I been secretly preparing him for the seat of ministerial dignity, and sure never, never were times so favourable-every thing conspires; for aw the auld poleetical posthorses are brokenwinded, and foundered, and canna get on; and ass till the rising generation, the vanity of surpassing yane another in what they feulishly caw taste and ailegance, binds them hond and foot in the chains of luxury; which wull always set them up till the best bidder; so that if they can but get wherewithal till supply their dissipation, a meenister may convert the poleetical morals of aw sic voluptuaries intill a vote that would sell the nation till Prester John, and their boasted leeberties till the great Mogul. [Exit. ACT V. SCENE I-A Library. Enter SIR PERTINAX and BETTY. Sir P. Come this way, Betty, come this way; ye are a gude girl, and I'll reward you for this discovery. Oh! the villain! offer her marriage! Bet. It is true, indeed; I would not tell your honour a lie for the world; but in troth it lay upon my conscience, and I thought it my duty to tell your worship. Sir P. Ye are right, ye are right; it was yeer duty to tell me, and I'll reward you for it; ye say Maister Sidney is in love wi' her too-pray, how came you by that intelligence? Bet. Oh! Sir, I know when folks are in love, let them strive to hide it as much as they will; I know it by Mr. Sidney's eyes, when I see him stealing a sly side-look at her; by his trembling, his breathing short, his sighing when they are reading together-besides, Sir, he made love verses upon her, in praise of her virtue, and her playing upon the music; ay! and I suspect another thing, Sir; she has a sweetheart, if not a husband, not far from hence. Sir P. Wha! Constantia ? Bet. Ay, Constantia, Sir-Lord, I can know the whole affair, Sir, only for sending over to Hadley, to farmer Hilford's youngest daughter, Sukey Hilford. Sir P. Then send this instant, and get me a particular account of it. Bet. That I will, this minute, Sir. Sir P. In the meantime keep a strict watch upon Constantia-and be sure ye bring me word of whatever new matter ye can pick up aboot her, my son, or this Hadley husband or sweetheart. Tom. In the drawing-room, Sir. Sir P. Tell him I would speak wi' him. [Exit TOMLINS.] Why suppose this Sidney noow should be privy till his friend Charles' love for Constantia-what then, gude traith, it is natural till think that his ain love wull demand the preference-ay, and obtain it too-yas! yas! selfself! is an ailoquent advocate on these occasions for only make it a mon's interest till be a rascal, and I think ye may safely depend upon his integreety in serving himsel. Enter SIDNEY. Sid. Sir Pertinax, your servant. Mr. Tomlins told me you desired to speak with me. Sir P. Yes, I wanted till speak wi' ye upon a Maister Sidney, give very singular business. me yeer hond, gin it did na luock like flattery (which I detest,) I would tell ye, Maister Sidney, that ye are an honour till your cloth, yeer country, and till human nature. Sid. Sir, you are very obliging. Sir P. Sit ye doon here, Maister Sidney sit ye doon here by me-my friend. [They sit.] ye, for the I am under the greatest obligations till care ye ha'e taken of Charles-the principles, releegious, moral, and poleetical, that ye ha'e infused intill him, demand the warmest return of gratitude, baith fra him and fra me. Sid. Your approbation, Sir, next to that of my own conscience, is the best test of my endeavours, and the highest applause they can receive. Sir P. Sir, ye deserve it, richly deserve it; and noow, Sir, the same care that ye ha'e had of Charles, the same my wife has taken of her favourite, and sure never were accomplishments, knowledge, or principles, social and releegious, impressed intill a better nature than Constantia's. Sid. In truth, Sir, I think so too. Sir P. She is, besides, a gentlewoman, and of ass gude a family as any in this county. Sid. So I understand, Sir. Sir P. Sir, her faither had a vast estate; the which he dissipated, and melted in feastings, and friendships, and charities, hospitalities, and sic kind of nonsense-but to the business.-Maister Sidney, I love ye―yas, I love you, and ha'e been luocking oot, and contriving hoow till settle ye in the world: Sir, I want till see ye comfortably and honourably fixed at the heed of a respectable family, and gin ye were my ain son, a thoosand times, I could na mak' a mair valuable present till ye for that purpose, ass a partner for life, than this same Constantia, wi' sic a fortune doon wi' her ass ye yoursel shall deem to be competent: ay, and an assuranee of every canonical contingency in my poower till confer or promote. Sid. Sir, your offer is noble and friendly; but though the highest station would derive lustre from Constantia's charms and worth; yet, wer she more amiable than love could paint her in the lover's fancy, and wealthy beyond the thirst of the miser's appetite, I could not-would not wed her. [Rises. Sir P. Not wed her! odzwins, mon! ye surprise me! why so? what hinders? [Rises. Sid. I beg you will not ask a reason for my refusal; but, briefly and finally, it cannot be, nor is it a subject I can longer converse upon. Sir P. Weel Sir, I ha'e done, I ha'e done-sit doon, mon-sit doon again-sit ye doon. [They sit.] I shall mention it no more not but I must confess honestly till ye, friend Sidney, that the match, had ye approved of my proposal, besides profiting you, would ha'e been of singular sarvice till me likewise; hoowever, ye may still sarve me ass effectually ass if ye had married her. Sid. Then, Sir, I am sure I will most heartily. Sir P. I believe it, I believe it, friend Sidney, and I thank ye. I ha'e nae friend till depend upon but yoursel-my heart is almost broke-I canna help these tears; and to tell ye the fact at yance, your friend Charles is struck wi' a most dangerous malady, a kind of insanity—in short, this Constantia, I am afraid, has cast an evil eye upon him-do ye understand me? Sid. Not very well, Sir. Sir P. Why, he is grievously smitten wi' the love of her, and I am afraid will never be cured withoot a leetle of your assistance. Sid. Of my assistance! pray, Sir, in what manner? : Sir P. I ha'e done wi' ye-I ha'e done wi' ye. Ay, ay, noow I can account for my son's conduct; his avarsion till courts, till meenisters, levees, public business, and his disobedience till my commands a perfeedious fellow-ye're a Judas! ye ha'e ruined the morals of my son, ye villain, but I ha'e done wi' ye; however, this I wull prophesy at oor pairting, for your comfort, that gin ye air so vary squeamish in obliging your patron, ye'll never rise in the church. Sid. Though my conduct, Sir, should not make me rise in her power, I am sure it will in her favour-in the favour of my own conscience too, and in the esteem of all worthy men; and that, Sir, is a power and dignity beyond what patrons of any denomination can confer. [Exit. Sir P. What a reegorous, saucy, stiff-necked fallow it is!-I see my folly noow; I am undone by my ain policy! this Sidney was the last man that should ha'e been about my son. The fallow, indeed, hath given him principles that might ha'e done vary weel among the ancient Romans, but are domned unfit for the modern Britons-weel! gin I had a thoosand sons, I never would suffer yane of yeer English univarsity bred fellows, till Sir P. In what manner! Lord, Maister ney, how can ye a pride of leeterature and sic saucy gude friend, gin ye would take an opportunity to English notions of leeberty, conteenually fermentspeak a gude word for him till the wench, and ing in their thoughts, that a man is never sure of one contrive to bring them together once, why, in a of them; but what am I to do? Zoons, he must few days after, he would nae care a pinch o' snuff nae marry this beggar-I canna sit doon tamely for her. [SIDNEY starts up.] What is the matter under that-stay, haud a wee; by the blood, I wi' ye, mon-what the deevil gars ye start and have it-yas! I ha'e hit upon 't. luock so astonished? be so dull? Now then, my vary e aboot a son of mine again; for they ha'e sic an Sid. Sir, you amaze me! In what part of my mind, or conduct, have you found that baseness, which entitles you to treat me with this indignity? Sir P. Indignity-what indignity do ye mean, Sir? Is asking ye till serve a friend wi' a wench an indignity? Sir, am not I your patron and benefactor, ha? Sid. You are, Sir, and I feel your bounty at my heart-but the virtuous gratitude, that sowed. the deep sense of it there, does not inform me, that in return, the tutor's sacred function, or the social virtue of the man, must be debased into the pupil's pander, or the patron's prostitute. Enter BETTY. Bet. Oh! Sir, I have got the whole secret out. Bet. About Miss Constantia; I have just had all the particulars from farmer Hilford's youngest daughter, Sukey Hilford. Sir P. Weel, weel, but what is the story? quick, quick, what is it? Bet. Why, Sir, it is certain that Mrs. Constantia has a sweetheart, or a husband, a sort of a gentleman, or a gentleman's gentleman, they don't know which, that lodges at Gaffer Hodges'; for Sukey says she saw them together last night in the dark walk, and Mrs. Constantia was all in tears. Sir P. Ah! I am afraid this is too gude news till be true. Sir P. Hoow! what, Sir, do ye dispute? are ye na my dependant--ha! and do ye hesitate aboot an ordinary civeelity, which is practised every day by men and women of the first fashion? Sir, let me tell ye, however nice ye may be, there Bet. Oh! Sir, it is certainly true; besides, Sir, is nae a dependant aboot the coort that would nae she has just writ a letter to the gallant; and I jump at sic an opportunity till oblige his patron. have sent John Gardener to her, who is to carry Sid. Indeed, Sir, I believe the doctrine of pimp-it to him to Hadley; now, Sir, if your worship ing for patrons may be learned in every party would seize the letter. See, see, Sir, here John school for where faction and public venality are comes, with the letter in his hand! taught as measures necessary to the prosperity of the Briton and the patriot-there every vice is to be expected. Sir P. Go, go; step ye out, Betty, and leave the fallow till me. Bet. I will, Sir. [Exit. so I'll e'en go through the short way; let me see what is the name-Mel-Meltil-Oh! no! Melville, at Gaffer Hodges'. Sir P. Oho! oho! vary weel, fine insinuations! I ken what ye glance at-yas, ye intend this satire Enter JOHN, with a packet and a letter. as a slander upon meenisters--ay! ay! fine sedee- John. There, go you into my pocket. [Puts tion against government.--Oh! ye villain--ye-up the packet.] There's nobody in the library-ye sirrah-ye are a black sheep, and I'll mark ye, and represent ye: I'll draw your picture-ah! ah! I am glad ye show yoursel-yas, yas-ye ha'e taken off the mask at last: ye ha'e been in my service for many years, ye hypocrite! ye impostor-but I never knew your principles before. Sid. Sir, you never affronted them before; if you had, you should have known them sooner. VOL. I.... I 6* Sir P. What letter is that, Sir? Sir P. Give it me, Sir. John. An't please your honour, Sir-it it is not mine. |