greater defire to be refolved in, than to know what I must do to please God, and to be happy for ever. If I have made light of the Thunders and Threatnings of Scripture, I do fo ftill. May be when Godfmites me, I feek him, and return, and enquire early after God, and remember that Godis my Rock,and the High God my Redeemer; but the Rod is no fooner off my back but I return with the Swine to the Mire, and with the Dog to the Vomit: which fhews, that in my affliction I do but flatter God with my Mouth, and lie unto him with my Tongue, that my Heart is not right with him, and that I am not fted faft in his Covenant. How am I forced fometimes to invent evasions, either that it is enough to believe with the crowd; or that God will not be fo cruel, as to damn all Men that are unfanctified; or that if I fhould begin a good Life, I fhould never hold out; or that if Serioufness were fo neceffary, fo many learned Men would not have fo great an averfion for it; How often am I ready to yield to Atheistical Suggestions, that either my Soul dies with my Body, or that God takes no notice of what we do below; or that there may be no Life to come; or that Religion may be nothing but a Trick. Horrid thoughts! Yet what will not a Sinner do, or confent to, fo he may but be let alone in his finful Sport and Pleasures? My outward Man may be hath fome sparklings of Piety; but how foul, how fordid is my Soul? How little do I ftrise to be rid of vain, unclean, and luftful Thoughts? How eafily do I yield unto a pleafing Temptation? the Devil

need

need take no great pains to feduce me; for if he do but beckon, I make hafte and run. How lotham Ito resist an evil motion? How loth to conquer? How loth to break my League with Hell? What an averfion have I for the feverer Duties of Religion? How foon am I weary of pious Exercises? I do not abate one Luft, not one Pleasure, for Heaven's fake. If I know that eating a plentiful Dinner on Sundays, will make me fleep at Church, I have no courage to forbear fo much as a meal for God. What did I ever do that look'd like seeking a Heavenly Country? I read of good Examples, but they move me not; I fee how circumfpectly other Men walk, and yet I feel no Fire. When I'm call'd upon by mine own Confcience to lofe no more time, I ftifle thofe Checks. Ah! how doth that faithful Witnefs within me fometimes plead with me, and bid me confider what I do, and what a ftrange adventure I make, and who will have the lofs of it in the end, and how hard a Matter it will be to recall me when I am once loft? But I am deaf to these friendly Calls. It tells me, I lie in a dangerous Ditch, and that I am not in the right way, and prompts me to vomit up the Poifon I have fwallowed; but I will not be perfuaded that I am in a state of Condemnation. Tho' grey hairs are upon me, and tho' the Marks of God's wrath against me appear in my Soul, yet I had rather believe any thing, than believe that God is angry with me. God's Spirit many times prompts me to that which is good, but I run away from him. I see the vanity of this World, and yet I dote on it; I am difappointed in my expecta

tions of earthly Felicity, and yet this doth not drive me to Heaven to feek a better. I have a Soul defcended from above, a Soul that can foar above Senfe, and Flesh; a Soul capable of the nobleft Operations, fitted for the greatest and moft fpiritual Employments: But I let that mighty Intellectual Fire go out: I suffer that Light to be clouded and darkned, by following the Dictates of a fenfual Appetite: I take no care to fubdue my unruly Paffions; Good Lord! how do they tranfport me upon all Occafions! If this be not to dishonour God, to defpife him, to mock his Threatnings, to undervalue his Promifes, to labour after my Ruine, to flight the offers of Grace and Mercy, I underftand nothing. O dreadful! that a Creature, as I am, should have a Soul to look after, and mind it no more! Aneverlasting Empire to gain, and make no more matter of it! Endlefs Torments to fhun, and be no more afraid! Eternal Wrath and Indignation to avoid, and be no more concerned! Rivers of Joy to inherit, and speak and think of it fo little! My Confcience blushes at my wilfulness, and yet I walk in the light of mine own Fire, and in the sparks that I have kindled. And must I perish thus tamely? Muft I be loft after all the intreaties of my Maker? Muft outer Darkness be my Habitation? and the bottomlefs Gulph my Dwelling-place? Tell not me, vain Heart, that I am fafe enough; Can I be fafe without the favour of God? Can I be happy, without having my Name written in the Book of Life? Go tell a Man, that he may safely fleep on the Pinacle of a Steeple in a

Storm.

Storm. Go tell him, that he may fafely walk like Queen Emma, upon Plow-fhares glowing hot. Tell him that he may fafely let a Viper bit him, Tell him that he may fafely play with a Crocodile. Tell him, that he may fafely walk with Peter on the Water, and try whether thou canst perfuade him; and wilt thou delude me, that I need fear no danger when God defpifes me? What do I do? If I have preferred my fecular Interest before God's Honour and Glory, I do fo ftill. If I have feared Men more than God, I do fo ftill. If I have been loth to do good with the Temporal Bleffings God hath conferred upon me, I am fo ftill. And what Sins I leave, it's more because I have no inclination to them, or because I am afraid they'll spoil and blemish my Reputation in the World, than because I love that God who made me, and hath obliged me by a thousand Favours to esteem and prize him above all. And is this the Coat of the Sons of God? Is this the Livery of a Christian indeed? Is this done like a Man that lives upon God's Bounty, is fed by his Charity, fupported by his Alms, and maintained from his Storehouse, and cannot fubfift one moment without his Concurrence, and hath not a better Friend in all the World than him, who is the Fountain of Living Waters? Who can believe this? What Man that understands any thing, can think well of this condition? Will it cure my Difeafe, to believe that I have it not? Will believing that I am not in Prison, bring me out of it? What if I was never in Heaven? What if I never faw the Book of Life? What if

never viewed the Lift of thofe that fhall be damned, and thofe that fhall be faved? Doth not the Word of God tell me who they are that fhall be happy, and who fhall be miferable? And if the marks of thofe that shall feel his everlafting Wrath are upon me, have not I reason to look about me, and feek more diligently after Grace than ever I have done? Confideration, one great defign of it being to know how the Cafe ftands between God and our own Souls; fuch a felf-examination must of neceffity be the cornerftone of this Spiritual Building; and comparing our Lives with the Rules of the Gofpel, and the proper Characters of fuch as are in a likely way to enjoy God for ever, may justly challenge the firft Seal in this intellectual Paradife. But then, as building of a stately Gate, without a House answerable to it, doth but expofe the Builder to derifion and contempt; fo Self-examination, without a ferious Expoftulation with our own Hearts, is but to make the Accufer of our Brethren laugh at our vain Attempts; and God fcorns the Endeavour that could be crushed in the Bud, and tired before half its Race is run.

II. Expoftulation roufes the Soul from her flumber, and drives it away from the foft Down it would have refted and repofed it felf upon, and gives the first blow (for Self-examination only threatens it) to that Tree of Death, I mean the reigning power of Sin; and I fee not how Sin can shelter it felf any longer, or what excuses it can make for its stay and continuance, where the Soul doth fummon it to appear before the Bar of Confcience,