tua! there is nobody better qualified than yourself, and may your success prove that I despaired of it without a reason. Your poor sister!-she has many good qualities, and upon some occasions gives proof of a good understanding; but as some people have no ear for music, so she has none for humour. Well, if she cannot laugh at our jokes, we can, however, at her mistakes, and in this way she makes us ample amends for the disappointment. Mr. Powley is much like herself: if his wife overlooks the jest, he will never be able to find it. They were neither of them born to write epigrams or ballads, and I ought to be less mortified at the coldness with which they entertain my small sallies in the way of drollery, when I reflect that if Swift himself had had no other judges, he would never have found one admirer. It is indeed, as you observe, incumbent upon Mr. Madan to reply to the reviewer, if he means to maintain his point. But unless he means likewise to expose himself more in a second attempt, than he did even in his first, it is still more incumbent upon him to be silent. I reckon myself a competent judge of the argument, so far as the Greek criticisms are in question; and if I am, a refutation of what his antagonist has advanced against that part of his performance, is (I think) impossible. That impossibility is followed close at the heels by a conclusion not to be avoided. Syllogistically dressed, it stands thus: The Scripture is the only ground on which the doctrine of polygamy can be proved. But it cannot be proved by Scripture. Ergo-Not at all. You desired me, some time since, to send you my twenty-seven answers to ditto number of queries drawn up by the Rev. Mr. Riland, of Birmingham. I would have done it, if the Review had not made it entirely unnecessary. The gentleman, for whose use in particular I designed them, declined sending them to the querist at my instance; so that, immediately almost after their production, they became waste paper, and I kept no copy of them myself. The questions discovered such marks of almost childish imbecility, that I could not possibly propose to myself the acquisition of any credit by the answers. But as some men, especially weak ones, are apt to suppose themselves irrefragable and invincible in disputation, I replied to them merely to guard the poor gentleman against the pernicious effects of so sad a blunder upon an occasion of such importance. My respects attend the family, that is to say, my affectionate ones. I heartily wish Mrs. Unwin better spirits. Never be afraid of the multiplication of children; you do not make them yourself, and He that does, knows how to provide for them. Poor bare-breeched Billy, to whom your alms were yesterday so acceptable, has no desponding thoughts upon this subject, though he has now four, and considering his age, and the age of his wife, may possibly have fourteen. Yours, my dear friend, WM. COWPER MY DEAR FRIEND, TO JOSEPH HILL, ESQ. Dec. 25, 1780. WEARY with rather a long walk in the snow, I am not likely to write a very sprightly letter, or to produce any thing that may cheer this gloomy season, unless I have recourse to my pocket-book, where perhaps I may find something to transcribe,—something that was written before the sun had taken leave of our hemisphere, and when I was less fatigued than I am at present. Happy is the man who knows just so much of the law, as to make himself a little merry now and then with the solemnity of juridical proceedings. I have heard of common law judgements before now, indeed have been present at the delivery of some, that, according to my poor apprehension, while they paid the utmost respect to the letter of a statute, have departed widely from the spirit of it; and, being governed entirely by the point of law, have left equity, reason, and common sense, behind them at an infinite distance. You will judge whether the following report of a case, drawn up by myself, be not a proof and illustration of this satirical assertion'. Yours affectionately, W. C. 1 The "Report of an adjudged Case, not to be found in any of the Books," concluded this letter. TO THE REV. WILLIAM UNWIN. MY DEAR FRIEND, Dec. 1780. POETICAL reports of law cases are not very common, yet it seems to me desirable that they should be so. Many advantages would accrue from such a measure. They would in the first place be more commodiously deposited in the memory, just as linen, grocery, or other such matters, when neatly packed, are known to occupy less room, and to lie more conveniently in any trunk, chest, or box, to which they may be committed. In the next place, being divested of that infinite circumlocution, and the endless embarrassment in which they are involved by it, they would become surprisingly intelligible, in comparison with their present obscurity. And lastly, they would by this means be rendered susceptible of musical embellishment, and instead of being quoted in the courts, with that dull monotony, which is so wearisome to by-standers, and frequently lulls even the judges themselves to sleep, might be rehearsed in recitative; which would have an admirable effect, in keeping the attention fixed and lively, and could not fail to disperse that heavy atmosphere of sadness and gravity, which hangs over the jurisprudence of our country. I remember, many years ago, being informed by a relation of mine, who in his youth had applied himself to the study of the law, that one of his fellow students, a gentleman of sprightly parts, and very respectable talents of the poetical kind, did actually engage in the prosecution of such a design; for reasons I suppose somewhat similar to, if not the same with those I have now suggested. He began with Coke's Institutes; a book so rugged in its style, that an attempt to polish it seemed an Herculean labour, and not less arduous and difficult, than it would be to give the smoothness of a rabbit's fur to the prickly back of a hedgehog. But he succeeded to admiration, as you will perceive by the following specimen, which is all that my said relation could recollect of the performance. Tenant in fee Simple, is he, And need neither quake nor quiver, Who hath his lands, Free from all demands, To him and his heirs for ever. You have an ear for music, and a taste for verse, which saves me the trouble of pointing out with a critical nicety the advantages of such a version. I proceed therefore to what I at first intended, and to transcribe the record of an adjudged case thus managed, to which indeed what I have premised was intended merely as an introduction'. W. C. TO THE REV. W. UNWIN. MY DEAR FRIEND, Jan. 14, 1781. I SELDOM write what may properly be called an answer to a letter, unless to a letter that requires an answer; but on the present occasion, being conscious that I 1 This letter concluded with the poetical law case of " Nose, plaintiff-Eyes, defendants," before referred to. |