Dr. Goldsmith and some of his friends occasionally dined at the St. James's coffee-house. One day it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His coun try, dialect, and person, furnished subjects of witticism. He was called on for retaliation, and at their next meeting produced the following poem. RETALIATION. Or old, when Scarron his companions invited, Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united : If our landlord supplies us with beef and with fish, Let each guest bring himself, and he brings the best dish. Our deant shall be venison, just fresh from the plains, Our Burket shall be tongue, with a garnish of brains, Our Will shall be wild fowl, of excellent flavor, And Dick with his pepper shall heighten the savor: *The master of St. James's coffee house, where the Doctor, and his friends he has characterised in this poem, occasionally dined. +Doctor Bernard, dean of Derry in Ireland. Mr. Edmund Burke. SMr William Burke, late secretary to general Conway, and member for Bedwin. Mr. Richard Burke, collector of Granada. Our Cumberland's sweet-bread its place shall obtain, And Douglast is pudding, substantial and plain> Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead, *Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, the Brothers, and other dramatic pieces. †Doctor Douglas, canon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished him self as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in de tecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes. David Garrick, Esq. SCounsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar. Sir Joshua Reynolds. **Vide page-65. If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em. Here lies good Edmund*, whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it, too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind; Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat To persuade Tommy Townsendt to lend him a vote: Who, too deep for his hearers, still weft on refin ing, And thought of convincing while they thought of dining; Though equal to all things, for all things unfit, Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit; For a patriot too cool; for a drudge, disobedi ent; And too fond of the right to pursue the expedi ent. In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a ra zor. *Vide page 65. *Mr. T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch Here lies honest William*, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't ; The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong; Still aiming at honor, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home; Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own. Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet! That we wish'd him full ten times a day at old But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein, *Vide page 65. +Mr. Richard Burke; vide page 65. This gentle. man having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people. |