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The frequent labours I underwent every day, made in a few weeks a very confiderable change in my health: the more my mafter got by me, the more infatiable he grew. I had quite loft my ftomach, and was almost reduced to a fkeleton. The farmer obferved it, and, concluding I must foon die, refolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reafoning and refolving with himfelf, a fardral, or gentleman-ufher, came from court, commanding my matter to carry me immediately thither for the diverfion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to fee me, and reported ftrange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good fente. Her majefty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kiffing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me (after I was fet on a table) which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me fome general questions about my country, and my travels, which I anfwered as diftinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, whether I would be content to live at court. I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly anfwered that I was my mafter's flave; but if I were at my own difpofal, I fhould be proud to devote my life to her majefty's fervice. She then asked my mafter, whether he were willing to fell me at a good price. He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the fpot, each piece being about the bignefs of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly fo great a fum as a thoufand guineas would be in England. I then faid to the queen, fince I was now her majefty's most humble crea

ture and vaffal, I muft beg the favour that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with fo much care and kindness, and underflood to do it fo well, might be admitted into her fervice, and continue to be my nurfe and inftructor. Her majesty agreed to my petition, and eafily got the farmer's confent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy: my late mafter withdrew, bidding me farewell, and faying he had left me in a good fervice; to which I replied not a word, only making him a flight bow.

The queen obferved my coldness, and, when the farmer was gone out of the apartment, afked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majefty, that I owed no other obligation to my late mafter, than his not dafhing out the brains of a poor harmlefs creature found by chance in his field; which obligation was amply recompenfed by the gain he had made by me in fhewing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now fold me for. That the life I had fince led, was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my ftrength. That my health was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my mafter had not thought my life in danger, her majefty would not have got fo cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an emprefs, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her fubjects, the phoenix of the creation; fo I hoped my late mafter's apprehenfions would appear to be groundless, for I already found my fpirits to revive by the influence of her moft august prefence.

This was the fum of my fpeech, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the ftyle peculiar to that people, whereof I learned fome phrafes from Glumdalclitch, while fhe was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in fpeaking, was however furprifed at fo much wit and good fenfe in fo diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His majefty, a prince of much gravity and auftere countenance, not well obferving my shape at firft view, afked the queen after a cold manner, how long it was fince the 38 2

grew

grew fond of a placknuck? for fuch it feems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breaft in her majefty's right hand. But this princefs, who hath an infinite deal of wit and humour, fet me gently on my feet upon the fcrutore, and commanded me to give his majefty an account of myfelf, which I did in a very few words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I fhould be out of her fight, being admitted, confirmed all that had paffed from my arrival at her father's houfe.

The king, although he be as learned a perfon as any in his dominions, had been educated in the ftudy of philofophy, and particularly mathematics; yet when he obferved my shape exactly, and faw me walk erect, before i began to fpeak, conceived I might be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by fome ingenious artift. But when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his aftonishment. He was by no means fatisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a ftory concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a fet of words to make me fell at a better price. Upon this imagination he put feveral other queftions to me, and ftill received rational anfwers, no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with fome ruftic phrafes which I had learned at the farmer's houfe, and did not fuit the polite style of a court.

His majesty fent for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly waiting, according to the cuftom in that country. Thefe gentlemen, after they had a while examined my fhape with much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed, that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preferving my life either by fwiftnefs, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They obferved by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an over-match for me, and field-mice with fome others too nimble, they could not imagine how I fhould be able to fupport myself, unless I fed upon fnails and other infects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to

evince that I could not poffibly do *. One of thefe virtuofi feemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several years, as it was manifeft from my beard, the ftumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glais. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparifon; for the queen's favourite dwarf, the fmalleft ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate they concluded unanimously, that I was only relplum fcalcath, which is interpreted literally lufus nature; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philofophy of Europe, whofe profeffors, difdaining the old evafion of occult caufes, whereby the followers of Ariftotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful folution of all difficulties, to the unfpeakable advancement of human knowledge.

After this decifive conclufion, I intreated to be heard a word or two. I applied myfelf to the king, and affured his majefy that I came from a country which abounded with feveral millions of both sexes, and of my own ftature; where the animals, trees, and houfes were all in proportion, and where by confequence I might be as able to defend myself, and to find fuftenance, as any of his majefty's fubjects could do here; which I took for a full anfwer to thofe gentlemen's arguments. To this they only replied with a fimile of contempt, laying, that the farmer had inftructed me very well in my leffon +. The king, who had a much better understanding, difmiffing his learned men, fent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town: having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl, his majefly began to think that what we told him might poffibly be true. He defired

By this reafoning the author probably intended to ridicule the pride of thofe philofophers, who dence in the creation and government of the world: have thought fit to arraign the wifdom of Proviwhofe cavils are fpecious, like thofe of the Brob dingnagian fages, only in proportion to the ignorance of thofe to whom they are propofed.

thofe facts for which they cannot perfectly account, + This fatire is levelled against all, who reject notwithstanding the abfurdity of rejecting the testi mony by which they are fupported.

the queen to order that particular care fhould be taken of me, and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch fhould ftill continue in her office of tending me, because he obferved we had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court; fhe had a fort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to drefs her, and two, other fervants for menial offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box that might ferve me for a bed-chamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I fhould agree upon. This man was a moft ingenious artist, and, according to my directions, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of fixteen feet fquare, and twelve high, with fafh-windows, a door, and two clofets, like a London bed-chamber. The board that made the ceiling was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majefty's upholfterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked sp the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiofities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all fides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the careleffness of thofe who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in a coach. I defired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in: the fmith, after feveral attempts, made the fmalleft that ever was feen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's houfe in England. I made a fhift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lofe it. The queen likewife ordered the thinnest filks that could be gotten to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accuftomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly refembling the Perfian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit.

The queen became fo fond of my company, that he could not dine without me. I had a table placed upon the fame at which her majefty eat, juft at her left elbow, and a chair to fit on. Glumdalclitch ftood on a tool on the floor near my table,

to affift and take care of me. I had an entire fet of filver dishes and plates, and other neceffaries, which, in proportion to thofe of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have feen in a London toyfhop, for the furniture of a baby-house: thefe my little nurfe kept in her pocket in a filver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No perfon dined with the queen but the two princeffes royal, the elder fixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majefty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myfelf; and her diverfion was to fee me eat in miniature. For the queen (who had indeed but a weak ftomach) took up at one mouthful as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for fome time a very naufeous fight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full gown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth, as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden-cup, above a hogfhead at a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, fet ftrait upon the handle. The fpoons, forks, and other inftruments, were all in the fame proportion. I remember, when Glumdalclitch carried me out of curiofity to fee fome of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld fo terrible a fight.

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have before obferved, is their fabbath) the king and queen, and the royal ifflue of both fexes, dine together in the apartment of his majefty, to whom I was now become a great favourite; and at thefe times my little chair and table were

Among other dreadful and difgufting images which cuftom has rendered familiar, are those ever turned with abhorrence from the skeleton of which arife from eating animal food: he who has a beaft which has been picked whole by birds or vermin, muft confefs that habit only could have enabled him to endure the fight of the mangled

bones and flesh of a dead carcase which every day cover his table; and he who reflects on the number of lives that have been facrificed to fuftain his own, fhould enquire by what the account has been balanced, and whether his life is become proportionably of more value by the exercife of virtue and piety, by the fuperior happiness which he has communicated to reafonable beings, and

by the glory which his intellect has afcribed to God. placed

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placed at his left hand before one of the falt-cellars. This prince took a pleafure in converfing with me, enquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the beit account I was able. His apprehenfion was fo clear, and his judgment fo exact, that he made very wife reflections and obfervations upon all I faid. But I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade, and wars by fea and land, of our fchifms in religion, and parties in the itate; the prejudices of his education prevailed fo far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and ftroking me gently with the other, after an hearty fit of laughing, afked me, whether I was a whig or tory? Then turning to his first minifter, who waited behind him with a white ftaff near as tall as the main-maft of the Royal Sovereign, he obferved how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by fuch diminutive infects as I and yet, fays he, I dare engage, thefe creatures have their titles and diftinctions of honour; they contrive little nefts and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in drefs and equipage; they love, they fight, they difpute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went feveral times with indignation to hear our noble country, the miftrefs of arts and arms, the fcourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the feat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, fo contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to refent injuries, fo upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having been accustomed feveral months to the fight and converfe of this people, and obferved every object upon which I caft mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from the bulk and afpect was fo far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day clothes, acting their feveral parts in the most courtly manner of ftrutting, and bowing, and prating, to fay the truth, I should have been ftrongly tempted to laugh as much at them, as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear fmiling at my felf, when the queen ufed to place me upon her haid towards a looking-glafs, by which

both our perfons appeared before me in full view together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparifon: fo that I really began to imagine myfelf dwindled many degrees below my ufual fize.

Nothing angered and mortified me fo much as the queen's dwarf, who being of the loweft ftature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high) became fo infolent at feeing a creature fo much beneath him, that he would always affect to fwagger and look big as he paffed by me in the queen's an. tichamber, while I was flanding on fome table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he feldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littlenes; againft which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrelle, and fuch repartees as are ufual in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was fo nettled with fomething I had faid to him, that, railing himself upon the frame of her majetty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was fitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large filver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good fwimmer, it might have gone very hard with me: for Glumdalclitch in that inftant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in fuch a fright, that he wanted prefence of mind to affift me. But my little nurfe ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had fwallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed; however I received no other damage than the lofs of a fuit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was foundly whipped, and as a farther punishment forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favour: for foon after the queen beflowed him on a lady of high quality, fo that I faw him no more, to my very great fatiffaction; for I could not tell to what extremity fuch a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

He had before ferved me a fcurvy trick, which fet the queen a laughing, although at the fame time he was heartily vexed, and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been fo generous as to intercede. Her majefty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again

in the dish erect, as it ftood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the fide-board, mounted the stool that the stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow-bone, above my waist, where I ftuk for fome time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I be. lieve it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes feldom get their meat hot, my legs were not fealded, only my ftockings and breeches in a fad condition. The dwarf, at my intreaty, had no other punishment than a found whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; and the ufed to ask me, whether the people of my country were as great cowards as myfelf? The occafion was this: the kingdom is much pestered with flies in fummer; and thefe odious infects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any reft while I fat at dinner with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would fometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathfome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the natives of that country, whofe large optics were not fo acute as mine in viewing fmaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nofe or forehead, where they ftung me to the quick, fmelling very offenfively; and I could eafily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalifts tell us, enables thofe creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these deteftable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these infects in his hand, as fchoolboys do amongst us, and let them out fuddenly under my nofe, on purpofe to frighten me and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had fet me in my box upon a window, ss fhe ufually did in fair days to give me air (for I durit not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my fathes, and fat down at my table to eat a piece of fweet

cake for my breakfast, above twenty wafps, allured by the fmell, came flying into the room, humaining louder than the drones of as many bag-pipes. Some of them feized my cake, and carried it peace-meal away; others flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noife, and putting me in the utmott terror of their flings. However, I had the courage to rife and draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I difpatched four of them, but the reft got away, and I prefently fhut my window. Thefe infects were as large as partridges: I took out their flings, and found them an inch and a half long, and as fharp as needles. I carefully preferved them all, and having fince fhewn them, with fome other curiofities, in feveral parts of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.

CHAP. IV.

The country defcribed. A propofal for correting modern maps. The king's palace, and fome account of the metropolis. The author's way of travelling. The chief temple defcribed.

I now intended to give the reader a fhort defcription of this country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thoufand miles rouud Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended, never went farther, when the accompanied the king in his progreffes, and there ftaid til! his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions reached about fix thoufand miles in length, and from three to five in breadth. From whence I cannot but conclude that our geographers of Europe are in a great error, by fuppofing nothing but fea between Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoife the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts, by joining this vaft tract of land to the north-west parts of America, wherein I fhall be ready to lend them my affiftance.

The kingdom is a peninfula, terminated to the north-eaft by a ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impaflable by reafon of the volcanoes upon their tops: neither do the mott learned know what fort of mortals inhabit beyond thofe mountains, or whether they be inha354

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