their friend, made me a vifit in form. They began with many compliments upon my valour and generofity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their master's name, and defired me to fhew them fome proofs of my prodigious ftrength, of which they had heard fo many wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars. When I had for fome time entertained their excellencies to their iufinite fatisfaction and furprise, I defired they would do me the honour to prefent my most humble respects to the emperor their mafter, the renown of whofe virtues had fo juftly filled the whole world with admiration, and whofe royal perfon 1 refolved to attend before I returned to my own country: accordingly the next time I had the honour to fee our emperor, I defired his general licence to wait on the Blefufcudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could plainly perceive, in a very cold manner: but could not guess the reafon, till I had a whifper from a certain perfon, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had reprefent ed my intercourfe with those ambaffadors as a mark of difaffection, from which I am fure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to conceive fome imperfect idea of courts and minifters. It is to be obferved, that thefe ambaffadors fpoke to me by an interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongues, with an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, ftanding upon the advantage. he had got by the feizure of their fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their fpeech in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confeffed, that from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception ef exiles, which is mutual among them, and from the custom in each empire to fend their young nobility and richer gentry to the other in order to polish themfelves by feeing the world, and understanding men and manners; there are few perfons of diftinction, or merchants, or feamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold converfation in both tongues; as I found fome weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperor of Blefufcu, which in the midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me, as I fhall relate in its proper place. The reader may remember, that when I figned thofe articles upon which I recovered my liberty, there were fome which I difliked upon account of their being too fervile, neither could any thing but an extreme neceffity have forced me to fubmit. But being now a nardac of the highest rank in that empire, fuch offices were looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him juftice) never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing his majefty, at least as I then thought, a moft fignal fervice. I was alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door; by which being fuddenly awaked, I was in fome kind of terror. I heard the word burglum repeated inceffantly feveral of the emperor's court making their way through the crowd, intreated me to come immediately to the palace, where her imperial majefty's apartment was on fire by the careleffness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while fhe was reading a romance. I got up in an inftant; and orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being likewife a moonshine night, Í inade a fhift to get to the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water was at fome diftance. Thefe buckets were about the fize of a large thimble, and the poor people fupplied me with them as falt as they could; but the flame was fo violent that they did little good. I might easily have filled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for hafte, and came away only in my leathern jerkin.. The cafe feemed wholly defperate and deplorable, and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if by a prefence of mind unufual to me, I had not fuddenly thought of an expedient. I had the evening before drank plentifully of a moft delicious wine, called glimigrim (the Blefufcudians call it flunec, but ours is efteemed the better fort) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the world I had not difcharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by my labouring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which 1 voided in fuch a quantity, and applied fo well well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had coft fo many ages in erecting, preferved fiom deftruction. It was now day-light, and I returned to my houfe, without waiting to congratulate with the emperor; becaufe, although I had done a very eminent piece of fervice, yet I could not tell how his majefty might refent the manner by which I had performed it for, by the fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any perfon, of what quality foever, to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little comforted by a meffage from his majefty, that he would give orders to the grand justiciary for paffing my pardon in form; which, however, I could not obtain. And I was privately affured, that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the moft diftant fide of the court, firmly refolved that those buildings should never be repaired for her ufe; and, in the presence of her chief confidants, could not forbear vowing revenge. CHAP. VI. Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living in that country. His vindication of a great lady. Although I intend to leave the defcription of this empire to a particular treatise, yet in the mean time I am content to gratify the curious reader with fome general ideas. As the common fize of the natives is somewhat under fix inches high, fo there is an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for inftance, the tallest horfes and oxen are between four and five inches in heighth, the fheep an inch and a half, more or lefs; their geefe about the bignefs of a sparrow, and to the feveral gradations downwards, till you come to the fmalleft, which to my fight were almoft invifible; but nature hath adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they fee with great exactness, but at no great distance. And, to fhew the fharpness of their fight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased with obferving a cook pulling a lark, which was not fo large as a common fly; and a young girl threading an invifible needle with invifible filk. Their talleft trees are about feven feet high: I The other mean fome of those in the great royal I fhall fay but little at prefent of their learning, which for many ages hath flou rifhed in all its branches among them: but their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right like the Europeans; nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the Chinese: but aflant from one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in England. They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rife again, in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upfide down, and by this means they shall at their refurrection be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confefs the abfurdity of this doctrine, but the practice ftill continues in compliance to the vulgar. There are fome laws and cuftoms in this empire very peculiar; and, if they were dear country, I fhould be tempted to fay not fo directly contrary to those of my own be wifhed they were as well executed. The a little in their juftification. It is only to first I fhall mention relates to informers. All crimes against the ftate are punished here with the utmoft feverity; but, if the perfon accused maketh his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accufer is immediately put to an ignominious death: and out of his goods or lands the innocent perfon is quadruply recompenced for the lofs of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardships of his imprifon ment, and for all the charges he hath been at in making his defence. Or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely fupplied by the crown. The emperor alfo confers on him fome public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his innocence through the whole city. They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore feldom fail to punifh it with death; for they alledge, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's goods from thieves, but honefty has no fence againft fuperior cunning; and it is neceffary that there fhould be a perpetual intercourfe of buying and felling, and deal ing upon credit; where fraud is permitted, and connived at, or hath no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember when I was once interceding with the king for a criminal, who had wronged his mafter of a great fum of money, which he had received by order, and ran away with; and happening to tell his majefty, by way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of truft; the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to fay in return, farther than the common answer, that different nations had different cutloms; for, I confefs, I was heartily afhamed*. Although we ufually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all government turns, yet I could never obferve this maxim to be put in practice by any nation, except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring fufficient proof, that he hath strictly obferved the laws of his country for feventy-three moons, hath a claim to certain privileges, according to his quality and condition of life, with a proportionable fum of money out of a fund appropriated for that ufe: he likewife acquires the title of Snilpall, or Legal, which is added to his name, but doth not defcend to his pofterity. And thefe people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them, that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account that the image of juftice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with fix eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each fide one, to fignify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a fword fheathed in her left, to fhew she is more difpofed to reward than punish. In chufing perfons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals than to great abilities; for, fince government is neceffary to mankind, they believe that the common fize of human understandings is fitted to fome ftation or other, and that Providence never intended to make the management of public affairs to be a myftery, comprehended only by a few perfons of fublime genius, of which there feldom are three born in an age: but they fuppofe truth, juftice, temperance, and the like, to An act of parliament hath been fince paffed, by which fome breaches of truft have been made capital. be in every man's power, the practice of which virtues, affifted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the fervice of his country, except where a course of study is required. But they thought the want of moral virtues was fo far from being fupplied by fuperior endow ments of the mind, that employments could never be put into fuch dangerous hands as thofe of perfons fo qualified; and at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance in a virtuous difpofition would never be of fuch fatal confequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man whofe inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions. In like manner, the disbelief of a divine Providence renders a man incapable of holding any public ftation; for, fince kings avowed themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more abfurd than for a prince to employ fuch men as difown the authority under which he acteth. In relating thefe and the following laws, I would only be understood to mean the original inftitutions and not the most scandalous corruptions, into which thefe people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For as to that infamous practice of acquir ing great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and diftinction by leaping over fticks, and creeping under them, the reader is to obferve, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew to the prefent heighth by the gradual increase of party and faction. Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in fome other countries: for they reason thus, that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, muft needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he hath received no obligation, aud therefore fuch a man is not fit to live. Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely from ours. For, fince the conjunction of male and female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continue the fpecies, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are joined together like other animals by the motives of concupifcence; and that their tendernefs towards their young proceeds from the like natural principle: for which reafon they will never allow, that a child is 3 R under under my obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him into the world, which, confidering the miferies of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended fo by his parents, whofe thoughts in their love encounters were otherwife employed. Upon thefe, and the like reafonings, their opinion is that parents are the laft of all others to be trufted with the education of their own children: and therefore they have in every town public nurferies, where all parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to fend their infants of both fexes to be reared and educated when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time they are fuppofed to have fome rudiments of docility, Thefe fchools are of feveral kinds, fuited to different qualities, and to both fexes. They have certain profeffors well skilled in preparing children for fuch a condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own capacities as well as inclination. I fhall firft fay fomething of the male nurferies, and then of the female. The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth are provided with grave and learned profeffors, and their feveral deputies. The clothes and food of the children are plain and fimple. They are bred up in the principles of honour, juftice, courage, modefty, clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always employed in fome bufinefs, except in the times of eating and fleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diverfions, confifting of bodily exercifes. They are dreffed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although their quality be ever fo great, and the women attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fif ty, perform only the most menial offices. They are never fuffered to converse with fervants, but go together in fmaller or greater numbers to take their diverfions, and always in the prefence of a profeffor, or one of his deputies; whereby they avoid thofe early bad impreflions of folly and vice, to which our children are fubject. Their parents are fuffered to fee them only twice a year; the vifit is to laft but an hour; they are allowed to kifs the child at meeting and parting; but a profeffor, who always ftands by on thofe occafions, will not fuffer them to whisper, or ufe any fondling expreffions, or bring any prefents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like. The penfion from each family for the education and entertainment of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's officers. The nurferies for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the fame manner, only those defigned for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old, whereas thofe of perfons of quality continue in their exercifes till fifteen, which anfwers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually leffened for the laft three years. In the female nurferies, the young girls of quality are educated much like the males, only they are dreffed by orderly fervants of their own fex; but always in the prefence of a profeffor or deputy, till they come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found, that these nurses ever prefume to entertain the girls with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practifed by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprifoned for a year, and banished for life to the most defolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies there are as much afhamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and despise all perfonal ornaments beyond decency and cleanlinefs: neither did I perceive any dif ference in their education, made by their difference of fex, only that the exercises of the females were not altogether fo robuft; and that fome rules were given them relating to domeftic life, and a smaller compafs of learning was enjoined them for their maxim is, that, among people of quality, a wife fhould be always a reafonable and agreeable companion, becaufe fhe cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their pa rents or guardians take them home with great expreffions of gratitude to the profeffors, and feldom without tears of the young lady and her companions. In the nurseries of females of the meaner fort, the children are inftructed in all kinds of works proper for their fex, and their feveral degrees: those intended for apprentices are difmiffed at seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven. The meaner families, who have children at thefe nurferies, are obliged, befides their annual penfion, which is as low as poffible, to return to the steward of the nurfery a fmall monthly fhare of their gettings to be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in their expences by the the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in fubfervience to their own appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave the burden of fupporting them on the public. As to perfons of quality, they give fecurity to appropriate a certain fum for each child, fuitable to their condition; and these fands are always managed with good husbandry, and the most exact juftice. The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their bufinefs being only to till and cultivate the earth, and there fore their education is of little confequence to the public: but the old and difeafed among them are fupported by hofpitals: for begging is a trade unknown in this empire. And here it may perhaps divert the curious reader, to give fome account of my domeftics, and my manner of living in this country, during a refidence of nine months and thirteen days. Having a head mechanically turned, and being likewife forced by neceffity, I had made for my felf a table and chair convenient enough out of the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred fempftreffes were employed to make me fhirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the ftrongest and coarfeft kind they could get; which however they were forced to quilt together in feveral folds, for the thickeft was fome degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is ufually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The fempftreffes took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing on my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a ftrong cord extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and defired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that twice round the thumb is once round the wrift, and fo on to the neck and the waift, and by the help of my old fhirt, which I displayed on the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three hundred taylors were em ployed in the fame manner to make me clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the floor, which juft anfwered the length of my coat: but my waist and arm's I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my houfe (for the largeft of theirs would not have been able to hold them) they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England, only that mine were all of a colour. I had three hundred cooks to drefs my victuals in little convenient huts built about my houfe, where they and their families lived, and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placed them on the table; an hundred more attended below on the ground, fome with dishes of meat, and fome with barrels. of wine and other liquors, flung on their fhoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reafonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a firloin fo large, that I have been forced to make three bits of it; but this is rare. My fervants were aftonifhed to fee me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geefe and turkies I ufually eat at a mouthful, and I must confefs they far exceed ours. Of their fmaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife. One day his imperial majefty, being informed of my way of living, defired that himself and his royal confort, with the young princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness (as he was pleafed to call it) of dining with me. They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of ftate upon my table, just overagainst me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord-high-treafurer, attended there likewife with his white ftaff; and I obferved he often looked on me with a four countenance, which I would not feem to regard, but eat more than ufual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with admiration. I have fome private reasons to believe, that this vifit from his majefty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his mafter. That minifter had always been my fecret enemy, though he outwardly careffed me more than was ufual to the moroseness of his nature. He reprefented to the emperor the low condition of his treafury; that he was forced to take up money at great difcount; that exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par; that I had cott his majesty above a million and a half of /prugs (their greatest gold coin, 3 R 2 about |