vintner lifting up one leg and then the other, like a goose treading on hot bricks. “But shall we not burst in on these dainty gallants, neighbour, and spoil their sport?" "Nay, nay, see you not they have weapons," whispered his more cautious companion. "Peradventure they would give us our deaths were we to venture upon them unarmed. Let us seek to get out of this place as speedily as we may, and find assistance; doubtless we shall be in time to disturb them at their villanies, and so rid ourselves of our cozening false wives, and be revenged on their paramours." "Ha! prythee set about it on the instant," said the other; then Master Dowlas began feeling of his way along the wainscot with his brother alderman close at his heels doing the like thing, till they came to a door, which was soon opened by the former, and to the great joy of both, proved to lead out into the gallery. From here they were not long before they found themselves in the parlour of the house, where was a famous company assembled of their friends and neighbours, among whom were John Shakspeare, the high bailiff, and Oliver Dumps the constable. These were quickly informed of the grievous wrong doing, in such moving terms, that the whole party, arming themselves with what weapons they could conveniently lay a hold on, proceeded under the command of their chief magistrate to seize upon the offenders. "What a villainous world is this!" exclaimed Oliver, putting on his most melancholy visage. 66 Marry, an' aldermen's wives must needs take to such evil courses, how shall a constable's wife escape ?" They soon burst into the chamber, where they found the two gallants up in a corner with their backs towards them, with the Widow Pippins standing in a manner as though she would not have her guests rudely meddled with. "Are "Hullo, my masters!" exclaimed she. ye mad—that ye enter thus unmannerly before two gentlemen of worship?" "Mind her not, neighbours-she is nothing better than a very villainous go-between!" exclaimed Master Alderman Malmsey, in his deadly rage flourishing of a spit he had got in his hand as if he would do one or other of them some dreadful injury. "These be the same two fine fellows that must needs be meddling with our wives:-I will take my oath on't!" cried Master Alderman Dowlas in a horrible bad passion, pointing towards them with the kitchen poker. "Down with them!" shouted one. "Let us despatch them straight!" bawled a second. <s By goles, we will be their deaths-the monstrous villains that cannot let honest men's wives alone," cried a third; and all seemed moving forward with mischief in their looks. "Respect the law, neighbours, respect the law !" exclaimed the constable, striving all he could to repress the desire for instant vengeance so manifest in his companions. "Ay, we must have no violence, my masters," added John Shakspeare. "If these persons have done ought amiss, I will take care they shall answer for it, but I cannot allow of their being hurt." "Oh, what monstrous behaviour is this in an honest woman's house!" cried the widow Pippins. "Stand aside, Mistress, I prythee," exclaimed Oliver Dumps pushing by the widow, and seizing hold of one of the gallants by the shoulder, added in a louder voice, "surrender you in the queen's name." "Now, neighbour Dowlas," said John Shakspeare, "look you in the face of this one, and say if you can swear him to be the villain that playeth the wanton with your wife: and you, neighbour Malmsey, do the same with the other." "I warrant you," replied both, moving with alacrity, and with the terriblest revengeful aspects ever seen, to do what their high bailiff had required. Each caught hold of one of the dainty young gentlemen with great rudeness, and poked his beard close in his face, and each at the same moment started back as though he had been shot, amid the loud laughter of every one in the room. These gallants proved to be no other than their own wives; and all present had been let in the secret by them for the more complete punishing of their faithless husbands. "Go to, for a sly fox!" cried the Widow Pippins, giving Master Dowlas just such another famous slap of the back as she had saluted him with on his first entrance to the chamber. "I'faith, thou art a sad rogue," added she, fetching Master Malmsey so absolute a poke i' the ribs that it put the other poke, bad as he had thought it, clean out of his remembrance. The jests that were broke upon these poor aldermen by their neighbours were out of all calculation, and they were so ashamed they could say never a word for themselves. And indeed they made a famous pretty figure-their best apparel being all covered with dust and broken rushes from rolling on the floor, and their hands and faces, hair and beards, instead of being in such delicate trim as when they first entered "The Rose," were in as dirty a pickle as was any chimney sweep's. However, they ever after turned out to be the best of husbands, and would as lief have taken a mad bull by the horns, as sought to make love to another man's wife. CHAPTER VI. And then the whining SCHOOL-BOY Some there are, SHAKSPEARE. Which by sophistick tricks, aspire that name Such a whole ream of almanack-makers, figure flingers, Since they do merely lie about stolen goods, They'd make men think the devil were fast and loose, WEBSTER. "BRING hither thy hat, William, I prythee, 'tis nigh upon school time," said Dame Shakspeare to her young son, as they were together in her chamber. 66 Ay, that is it," replied he, doing what he was desired with a very cheerful spirit. "'Sooth, though I lack knowing what manner of pleasure is found in school, methinks it must needs be none so little, nurse Cicely speaketh of it so bravely." The |