Monetta Vanilla Jillet, Philomela Gill, Theodosia Stirrup, Statira Penny, Sackarissa Stokes, Laodamea Eccles, Sophia Louisa Tubman. I have rambled away into a dissertation upon the names of men and women, when I sat down merely to ruminate upon a name proper to confer upon my own lucubrations. I have formed the resolution to write a series of essays. As to their subject, I purpose to rely upon the suggestions of the moment; but a name must be immediately discovered and adopted. Though a name, on such occasions, is matter of so little real moment, we are generally extremely puzzled to make a choice. Miscellaneous essays cannot be reduced to any comprehensive title, and there is generally a humourous opposition between the title and the theme of the lucubration. The Lounger, the Tatler, the Rambler, the Idler are all names which have not the least relation to the tenor of the works to which they are attached. They seem to have been adopted by chance, or through wantonness. After much reflection, I have finally determined to affix to these essays my own name. I might, indeed, have hit upon imaginary names, more musical and pleasing to the ear, and have bestowed it on myself without any danger of detection. When I first took up the pen, I let it run on, under the conviction that it might light upon some grand and beautiful assemblage of sounds; but, by the time I reached the last name in the above romantic catalogue, I settled down into the sober and reasonable resolution to dispense with all affectation and fiction, and employ the identical name which I received in baptism. Job Strutt is not the most musical and sounding of human names. It borrows not much dignity from as sociation. Job the patient was, indeed, a respectable personage enough, but the name does not seem to have affected modern ears and fancies very agreeably, for I do not recollect a single personage of any consequence, in European annals, by the name of Job. No king, that I recollect, no general, no poet, no philosopher has ever honoured this name with his acceptance. In such general disrepute is this mouth-filling monosyllable held, that nobody ever dreams of conferring it even upon negroes, horses, dogs, or parrots, a fastidousness for which I never could account. I have often thought myself unfortunate in being dubbed with this abrupt and surly appellation; and even at this day, which is the fortieth anniversary of my birth, I am never called upon to write it or pronounce it without being out of countenance. I know my scruples are silly, and that names borrow their significance entirely from the character of those that wear them, and that had I been honoured with the most superb appellation that a congress of grammarians could invent, I should be valued and esteemed exactly according to my personal merits. But though Alexander, Maximilian, or Horatio will not rescue the bearer from any contempt or detestation to which his character and conduct may justly entitle him, it is to be feared that a strong prejudice connected with a name, will operate a little to the disadvantage of the wearer. It is always desirable to have the first impression which we make upon others a favourable one, and the world, as every body knows, is governed by names. I once asked my mother why she gave me this name. She told me it was entirely my father's doings..... The book of Job was his favourite study, and his grand consolation in all the evils and crosses of human life, and the poor man had his share. The old gentleman, indeed, was something of a poet; but the only sample now extant of his poetical propensities was a version of the " family, from my great-grandfather downward, have been hereditary coblers. Upon second thoughts.........but I have drawn out this essay to a sufficient length, and shall, therefore, for the present, end here. For the Literary Magazine. NEW YEAR'S DAY. A Fragment. book of Job. He was determined to perpetuate his veneration for the patriarch, by giving the name to his first, and, as it turned out, his only son, and all my mother's gainsaying availed nothing. She was strenuous for Theodore, which, besides its beauty as a mere succession of sounds, and its merits, considering its significance as a compound word, was the name of her father and brother. The poor woman had set her heart upon Theodore, and to be thwarted in this darling hope was a misfortune she could hardly endure. When the........WHEN we reach a new year's death of my father put an end to day, we reach an eminence in the the hopes she had never ceased to journey of life, where we are natucherish, that she should have an rally prompted to pause, from opportunity of conferring her dar- which we have an opportunity of ling name on a second son, a scheme seeing a large portion of the road which my father acquiesced in, her we have passed, and are powerfully grief was deepened by despair. It induced to cast our view forward in is hard to penetrate the motives of search of futurity. Each one who people, even in the most important has attained this height looks back. actions of their lives; but, for my and looks forward on a scene, and part, I have very little doubt that to with emotions, peculiar to himself. rid herself of the odious name of What are my emotions? what is Strutt, and procure an opportunity the scene which I have passed, and of giving to her offspring the name what the prospects which futurity of Theodore, were the principal discloses to my anxious view? motives which reconciled her to a second marriage. Poor woman! Heaven cursed her, as is usual, with the grant of her own wishes, for her Theodore is unluckily distinguished by a hump on his back, and by a temper as crooked and perverse as his body. Thirty-four years have now gone over me. They still find me on the surface of the earth alive, erect. What has become of all those who came into existence at the same time! How many have come to an untimely end! How many have been cut off ere the prime of life! How many of my own favourité companions, my chosen friends, now sleep in an early grave! And how chequered have been their destinies! As to my second name, Strutt, how the deuce my family came to be saddled with it I cannot imagine. All names were, probably, in their original, nicknames, that is, were My earliest and infantile play descriptive, or designed to be des- mate, with whom I used to play criptive, of some quality or circum- horses, and con the ABC together, stance about them. My ancestor, I though born to elevated prospects, suppose, was of a haughty and as- endowed with good capacity, and piring character and port: but they improved by a learned education, must have owed the loftiness of their trod the paths of idleness and dissi deportment to some innate elevation pation, which terminated in the loss of mind, for, so far as I have been of reason. For years he resided in able to trace their history, there was the hospital for lunatics, and it is not nothing, in their outward circum- many months since his body, long stances, of which they could rea- infected with the decay which had sonably boast. I am loath to say it, previously devoured his mind, was but it is in vain to deny, that my consigned to a nameless grave. f The period of infancy past, it was my lot to form the most intimate alliance with a youth, whose moral habits were as blameless as his studious propensities were laudable. The neglect of a nurse, in childhood, made him an incurable cripple, and contributed, no doubt, to stimulate his zeal in those pursuits which promised him, in usefulness and glory, a compensation for his bodily infirmities. After much self-debate he devoted himself to the medical science; but, alas! his intense application soon overturned his already tottering fabric, and he died before his twentieth year. Many times, during our intercourse, had he occasion to sit beside my sick bed, and often did he predict that ere the next sun should rise, I should draw my last breath. Yet it was my lot to follow him to his grave. Since that period many have been the friendships which accident has led me to form. As often as my choice was made, did death step to ravish my beloved companion from my arms. It is not many months since I witnessed the departure of the third among them. Why, in thus dealing out destruction, has a mysterious destiny spared me? My merits have been unspeakably inferior to those whose loss I lament. The spacious circle of the world, and the small circle of relations and friends, would have had much less reason to deplore my death than theirs. They were the pride, the boast, the hope of all connected with them. I have hitherto lived, and, such is the omnipotence of evil habits, shall hereafter live without glory to myself, or felicity or benefit to those around me. I have been most unfortunate in possessing a character, and imbibing habits, which merit nothing but poverty and ignominy; which have invariably and incessantly commit. ted to hazard life, health, fame, and competence. Most fortunate have I been in possessing friends, and meeting circumstances, which sup plied the place of merit, and have given me every good that fancy could image, in spite of my own nefarious indolence, or perverse activity. Always has my heart sighed for a conjugal companion. What has ever been my favourite, though hopeless, dream? That a woman, in whom personal, intellectual, and moral excellence should be enshrined, should give herself to me. That I should ever light on such a being; that such a being, when found, should ever deign to bind herself to me; that my own condition should ever be such, when such a consenting being were found, as to allow us the choice of the inseparable life, were always regarded as impossible. They were phantoms of a gay, ideal world, laboriously created, and illumining my fancy for a moment, merely to leave, when they withdrew, a more dreary and palpable obscurity behind them. In this has a benign Providence been particularly propitious. Do I not possess all that I wished? All that surpassed my hopes, and far outstripped my deserts, has showered itself down upon me; and this anniversary has risen with more felicities to my view, than any former one: felicities which want nothing but stability and long continuance to make full the cup of my desires......... The author's modesty appears to have inspired him with a notion that his name was already not at all, or but little known to his readers. He has therefore thought proper to collect as many recommendatory scraps and notices as possible, and to put them in front of his book, that they may make a favourable impression. To appear in public with all the badges and insignia of our rank, and all the tokens of the public regard, conspicuously displayed and hung about us, may, at first, appear to argue a little vanity, but, rightly considered, it may more properly be deemed an indication of a selfdisclaiming disposition. To say truth, colonel Humphreys is no inconsiderable poet, and had he more rarely introduced himself into the poetical canvas, he would not, therefore, have attracted less notice. The reader is, indeed, frequently amused by the ingenuity displayed by the author in hitching in his own merits and exploits, where they would naturally be least expected. His principal poems are of a kind not easily described. They are national or political descants, in which the nation is made the subject of encomium, and its future glories pourtrayed with a very liberal fancy. A poem on American industry has been written lately, and the views it contains are equally recommended by their truth, and by the ornaments with which a classical fancy has invested them. Many passages might be selected from each of these poems, in which a high degree of poetical excellence is to be found; but their merit is too generally acknowledged, and their tenor too familiarly known, to justify quotation or comment. There are also, candour compels us to acknowledge, many passages which require the pruning or the lopping For the Literary Magazine. CHESNUTS AND RAIL TIMBER. TO prevent chesnuts being destroyed by the moles, when planted, let them be planted with the burs on; this has been successfully practised in New Jersey, on a large scale, by a Frenchman. At the age of three years, he cuts them down (or heads them down, agreeably to Forsyth), and when they have timber enough for a few rails, they may be again cut down. In those parts of the United States in which the beech and maple predominate, rail timber is well supplied from the white ash, wild cherry, birch, and hemlock. This last will not split from the centre, but must be sliced from the outside, which makes the splitting easy. This is much practised in New England, and the rails are very durable. For the Literary Magazine. FRENCH REVOLUTIONARY EPOCHAS. THE French revolution having now apparently drawn to a close, it may not be uninteresting to take a short view of the revolutionary epochas. May 5, 1789. States general met at Versailles. October 6. The king brought from Versailles to Paris. June 21, 1791. The king fled from Paris....brought back from Varennes. September 14. The king accepts the constitution. June 20, 1792. The king assaulted in the Thuilleries. August 10. The Thuilleries taken, and the king takes refuge in the legislative assembly. September 22. Convention met..... royalty abolished......republican year commenced. January 21, 1793. The king beheaded. May 31, 1793. Brissotine party |