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guishing character; and if we can get this
No. 27.] .
Saturday, April 11, 1713. young woman into our family, we shall think we have a much better purchase than others, Multa putans, sortemque animo miseratus iniquam. who, without her good qualities, may bring into
Virg. Æn. vi. 332. theirs the greatest accession of riches. I sent Struck with compassion of so sad a state. sir Harry by last night's post the following letter on the subject :
In compassion to those gloomy mortals, who,
by their unbelief, are rendered incapable of feel. Dear Sir Harry,— Upon our last parting, ing those impressions of joy and hope which the and as I had just mounted the little roan I am so celebration of the late glorious festival naturally fond of, you called me back; and when I stooped leaves on the mind of a Christian, I shall in this to you, you squeezed me by the hand, and with paper endeavour to evince that there are grounds allusion to some pleasant discourse we had had to expect a future state, without supposing in a day or two before in the house, concerning the the reader any faith at all, not even the belief present mercantile way of contracting mar- of a Deity. Let the most steadfast unbeliever riages, with a smile and a blush you bid ine look open his eyes, and take a survey of the sensible upon some women for you, and send word how world, and then say if there be not a connexion, they went. I did not see one to my mind till and adjustment, and exact and constant order the last opera before Easter. I assure you I discoverable in all the parts of it. Whatever have been as unquiet ever since, as I wish you be the cause, the thing itself is evident to all were till you had her. Her height, her com our faculties. Look into the animal system, the plexion, and every thing but her age, which is passions, senses, and locomotive powers; is not under twenty, are very much to my satisfaction : the like contrivance and propriety observable there is an ingenuous shame in her eyes, which in these too? Are they not fitted to certain ends, is to the mind what the bloom of youth is to the and are they not by nature directed to proper oba body ; neither implies that there are virtuous jects ? habits and accomplishments already attained by Is it possible, then, that the smallest bodies the possessor, but they certainly show an un- should, by a management superior to the wit of prejudiced capacity towards them. As to the man, be disposed in the most excellent manner circumstance of this young woman's age, I am agreeable to their respective natures; and yet reconciled to her want of years, because she the spirits or souls of men be neglected, or ma. pretends to nothing above them ; you do not see naged by such rules as fall short of man's underin her the odious forwardness to I know not standing ? Shall every other passion be rightly what, as in the assured countenances, naked placed by nature, and shall that appetite of im. bosoms, and confident glances of her contempo. mortality natural to all mankind be alone mis. raries.
placed, or designed to be frustrated ? Shall the "I will vouch for her, that you will have her industrious application of the inferior animal whole heart, if you can win it; she is in no fa. powers in the meanest vocations be answered miliarities with the fops, her fan has never been by the ends we propose, and shall not the gene. yet out of her own hand, and her brother's face rous efforts of a virtuous mind be rewarded ? is the only man's she ever looked in steadfastly. In a word, shall the corporeal world be all order
When I have gone thus far, and told you and harmony, the intellectual, discord and con. that I am very confident of her as to her virtue fusion ?. He who is bigot enough to believe and education, I may speak a little freely to you, these things, must bid adieu to that natural rule as you are a young man. There is a dignity in of reasoning from analogy;' must run counter the young lady's beauty, when it shall become to that maxim of common sense, . That men her to receive your friends with a good air, and ought to form their judgments of things unex affable countenance ; when she is to represent perienced, from what they have experienced.' that part of you which you must delight in, the If any thing looks like a recompense of calafrank and cheerful reception of your friends, mitous virtue on this side the grave, it is either her beauties will do as much honour to your an assurance that thereby we obtain the favour table, as they will give you pleasure in your and protection of heaven, and shall, whatever bed.
befalls us in this, in another life meet with a just It is no small instance of felicity to have a return; or else that applause and reputation woman, from whose behaviour your friends are which is thought to attend virtuous actions. The more endeared to you; and for whose sake former of these, our free-thinkers, out of their your children are as much valued as for your singular wisdom and benevolence to mankind,
endeavour to erase from the minds of men. The • It is not for me to celebrate the lovely height latter can never be justly distributed in this life, of her forehead, the soft pulp of her lips, or to where so many ill actions are reputable, and so describe the amiable profile which her fine hair, many good actions disesteemed or misintercheeks, and neck, made to the beholders that preted; where subtle hypocrisy is placed in the night, but shall leave them to your own obser- most engaging light, and modest virtue lies convation when you come to town; which you may cealed; where the heart and the soul are hid do at your leisure, and be time enough, for there from the eyes of men, and the eyes of men are are many in town richer than her whom I re- dimmed and vitiated. Plato's sense in relation commend. I am, sir, your most obedient and to this point, is contained in his Gorgias, where most humble servant,
he introduces Socrates speaking after this man, "NESTOR IRONSIDE.'
• It was in the reign of Saturn provided by a possible, may perhaps reconcile them to the be. law, which the gods have since continued down lief of what is supernaturally revealed. to this time, that they who had lived virtuously Let us suppose a person blind and deaf from and piously upon earth, should, after death, en his birth, who, being grown to man's estate, is, joy a life full of happiness, in certain islands by the dead palsy, or some other cause deprived appointed for the habitation of the blessed : of his feeling, tasting, and smelling, and at the but that such as have lived wickedly should go same time has the impediment of his hearing reinto the receptacle of damned souls, named moved, and the film taken from his eyes. What Tartarus, there to suffer the punishments they the five senses are to us, that the touch, taste, deserved. But in all the reign of Saturn, and and smell, were to him. And any other way in the beginning of the reign of Jove, living of perception of a more refined and extensive judges were appointed, by whom each person nature were to him as inconceivable, as to us was judged in his lifetime, in the same day on those are which will one day be adapted to perwhich he was to die. The consequence of ceive those things which 'eye hath not seen, nor which
was, that they often passed wrong judg. ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart ments. Pluto, therefore, who presided in Tar- of man to conceive. And it would be just as tarus, and the guardians of the blessed islands, reasonable in him to conclude, that the loss of finding that, on the other side, many unfit per- those three senses could not possibly be suc. sons were sent to their respective dominions, ceeded by any new inlets of perception, as in a complained to Jove, who promised to redress modern free-thinker to imagine there can be no the evil. He added, the reason of these unjust state of life and perception without the senses proceedings are that men are judged in the he enjoys at present. "Let us further suppose body. Hence many conceal the blemishes and the same person's eyes, at their first opening, imperfections of their minds by beauty, birth, to be struck with a great variety of the most and riches; not to mention, that at the time of gay and pleasing objects, and his ears with a trial there are crowds of witnesses to attest melodious concert of vocal and instrumental their having lived well. These things mislead music. Behold him amazed, ravished, transthe judges, who being themselves also of the ported; and you have some distant representanumber of the living, are surrounded each with tion, some faint and glimmering idea of the his own body, as with a veil thrown over his ecstatic state of the soul in that article in which mind. For the future, therefore, it is my inten- she emerges from this sepulchre of flesh into tion that men do not come on their trial till life and immortality. after death, when they shall appear before the N. B. It has been observed by the Christians, judge, disrobed of all their corporeal ornaments. that a certain ingenious foreigner,* who has The judge himself too shall be a pure unveiled published many exemplary jests for the use of spirit, beholding the very soul, the naked soul persons in the article of death, was very much of the party before him. With this view I have out of humour in a late fit of sickness, till he already constituted my sons, Minos and Rhada. was in a fair way of recovery. manthus, judges, who are natives of Asia ; and Æacus, a native of Europe. These, after death, shall hold their court in a certain meadow, from
No. 28.] which there are two roads, leading the one to
Monday, April 13, 1713. Tartarus, the other to the Islands of "the
Ætas parentum pejor avis tulit blessed.”',
Nos nequiores, mox daturos From this, as from numberless other passages
Progeniem vitiosiorem. of his writings, may be seen Plato's opinion of a future state. A thing therefore in regard to
Our fathers have been worse than theirs,
And we than ours: next age will see us so comfortable, in itself so just and excellent,
A race more profligate than we. a thing so agreeable to the analogy of nature, and so universally credited by all orders' and THEOCRITUS, Bion, and Moschus are the most ranks of men, of all nations and ages, what is famous amongst the Greek writers of pastorals. it that should move a few men to reject ? Surely The two latter of these are judged to be far short there must be something of prejudice in the of Theocritus, whom I shall speak of more case. I appeal to the secret thoughts of a free- largely, because he rivals the greatest of all thinker, if he does not argue within himself poets, Virgil himself. He hath the advantage after this manner: The senses and faculties I confessedly of the Latin, in coming before him, enjoy at present are visibly designed to repair and writing in a tongue more proper for pastoor preserve the body from the injuries it is liable rál. The softness of the Doric dialect, which to in its present circumstances. But in an this poet is said to have improved beyond any eternal state, where no decays are to be re- who came before him, is what the ancient Ropaired, no outward injuries to be fenced against, man writers owned their language could not apwhere there are no Hesh and bones, nerves or proach. But besides this beauty, he seems to blood-vessels, there will certainly be none of the me to have had a soul more softly and tenderly senses ; and that there should be a state of life inclined to this way of writing than Virgil, without the senses is inconceivable.'
whose genius led him naturally to sublimity. But as this manner of reasoning proceeds It is true that the great Román, by the nice. from a poverty of imagination, and narrowness of soul in those that use it, I shall endeavour to
* M. Deslandes, who was a free-thinker, and had pubremedy those defects, and open their views, by lished a historical list of all who died laughing. He had laying before them a case which being naturally the small.pox here in England, of which he recovered.
Hor. Lib. 5. Od. vi. 46
ness of his judgment, and great command of room of kids and lambs, sea.mews for the lark "hinself, has acquitted himself dexterously this and the linnet, and presents his mistress with way. But a penetrating judge will find there oysters instead of fruits and flowers. How good the seeds of that fire which burned afterwards soever his style and thoughts may be, yet who so bright in the Georgics, and blazed out in the can pardon him for his arbitrary change of the Æneid. I must not, however, dissemble that sweet manners and pleasing objects of the counthese bold strokes appear chiefly in those Ec- try, for what in their own nature are uncomlogues of Virgil which ought not to be numbered fortable and dreadful? I think he hath few or amongst his pastorals, which are indeed gene. no followers, or, if any, such as knew little of rally thought to be all of the pastoral kind; but his beauties, and only copied his faults, and so by the best judges are only called his select are lost and forgotten. poems, as the word Eclogue originally means. The French are so far from thinking ab.
Those who will take the pains to consult strusely, that they often seem not to think at all. Scaliger's comparison of these two poets, will It is all a run of numbers, common place defind that Theocritus hath outdone him in those scriptions of woods, floods, groves, loves, &c. very passages which the critic hath produced in Those who write the most accurately fall into honour of Virgil. There is, in short, more in the manner of their country, which is gallantry. nocence, simplicity, and whatever else hath I cannot better illustrate what I would say of been laid down as the distinguishing marks of the French than by the dress in which they pastoral, in the Greek than the Roman: and all make their shepherds appear in their pastoral arguments from the exactness, propriety, con- interludes upon the stage, as I find it described ciseness, and nobleness of Virgil, may very well by a celebrated author. • The shepherds,' saith be turned against him. There is, indeed, some he, are all embroidered, and acquit themselves times a grossness and clownishness in Theo- in a ball better than our English dancing-mascritus, which Virgil, who, borrowed his greatest ters. I have seen a couple of rivers appear in beauties from him, hath avoided. I will, how- red-stockings; and Alpheus, instead of having ever, add, that Virgil out of the excellence of his head covered with sedges and bull-rushes, genius only, hath come short of Theocritus: and making love in a fair full-bottomed perriwig and had possibly excelled him, if in greater subjects a plume of feathers; but with a voice so full of he had not been born to excel all mankind. shakes and quavers, that I should have thought
The Italians were the first amongst the mo- the murmurs of a country brook the much derns that fell into pastoral writing. It is ob- more agreeable music.? served, that the people of that nation are very profound, and abstruse in their poetry as well as politics ; fond of surprising conceits and far
Tuesday, April 14, 1713. fetched imaginations, and labour chiefly to say what was never said before. From persons of Ride si sapis Mart. Lib. 2. Epig. xli. 1. this character, how can we expect that air of
Laugh if you are wise, simplicity and truth which hath been proved so essential to shepherds ? There are two pastoral In order to look into any person's temper, plays in this language, which they boast of as I generally make my first observation upon his the most elegant
performances in poetry that laugh, whether he is easily moved, and what are the latter ages have produced; the Aminta of the passages which throw him into that agreeTasso, and Guarini's Pastor Fido. In these the able kind of convulsion. People are never so names of the persons are indeed pastoral, and much unguarded, as when they are pleased ; the sylvan gods, the dryads, and the satyrs, ap- and laughter being a visible symptom of some pointed with the equipage of antiquity ; but inward satisfaction, it is then, if ever, we may neither the language, sentiments, passions, or believe the face. There is, perhaps, no better designs, like those of the pretty triflers in Virgil index to point us to the particularities of the and Theocritus. I shall produce an example mind than this, which is in itself one of the out of each, which are commonly taken notice chief distinctions of our rationality. For, as of, as patterns of the Italian way of thinking in
says, pastoral. Sylvia, in Tasso's poem, enters adorned with a garland of flowers, and views herself "Smiles from reason flow, to brutes deny'd,
And are of love the food in a fountain with such self-admiration, that she breaks out into a speech to the flowers on her It may be remarked in general under this head, head, and tells them, she doth not wear them that the laugh of men of wit is for the most part to adorn herself, but to make them ashamed.' but a faint constrained kind of half-laugh, as In the Pastor Fido, a shepherdess reasons after such persons are never without some diffidence an abstruse philosophical manner about the vio- about them : but that of fools is the most ho. lence of love, and expostulates with the gods, nest, natural, open laugh in the world. 'for making laws so rigorous to restrain us, and I have often had thoughts of writing a trea. at the same time giving us invincible desires.'tise upon this faculty, wherein I would have Whoever can bear these, may be assured he laid down rules for the better regulation of it at hath no taste for pastoral.
the theatre. I would have criticised on the laughs When I am speaking of the Italians, it would now in vogue, by which our comic writers might be unpardonable to pass by Sannazarius. He the better know how to transport an audience hath changed the scene in this kind of poetry into this pleasing affection. I had set apart a from woods and lawns, to the barren beach and chapter for a dissertation on the talents of some boundless ocean: introduces sea-calves in the of our modern comedians ; and as it was the
manner of Plutarch to draw comparisons of his smile. Her lips are composed with a primnes heroes and orators, to set their actions and elo- peculiar to her character, all her modesty seems quence in a fairer light; so I would have made collected into her face, and she but very rarely the parallel of Pinkethman, Norris, and Bullock; takes the freedom to sink her cheek into and so far shown their different methods of rais- dimple. ing mirth, that any one should be able to dis The
young widow is only a Chian for a time; tinguish whether the jest was the poet's or the her smiles are confined by decorum, and she is actor's.
obliged to make her face sympathize with her As the playhouse affords us the most occa- habit; she looks demure by art, and by the sions of observing upon the behaviour of the strictest rules of decency is never allowed the face, it may be useful (for the direction of those smile till the first offer or advance towards her who would be critics this way) to remark, that is over. the virgin ladies usually dispose themselves in The effeminate fop, who, by the long exercise the front of the boxes, the young married women of his countenance at the glass, hath reduced it compose the second row, while the rear is gene- to an exact discipline, may claim a place in this rally made up of mothers of long standing, un- clan. You see him upon any occasion, to give designing maids, and contented widows. Who- spirit to his discourse, admire his own eloever will cast his eye upon them under this quence by a dimple. view, during the representation of a play, will The Ionics are those ladies that take a greater find me so far in the right, that a double en liberty with their features; yet even these may tendre strikes the first row into an affected gra- be said to smother a laugh, as the former to vity, or careless indolence, the second will ven- stifle a smile. ture at a smile, but the third take the conceit The beau is an Ionic out of complaisance, and entirely, and express their mirth in a downright practises the smile the better to sympathize laugh.
with the fair. He will sometimes join in a When I descend to particulars, I find the laugh to humour the spleen of a lady, or applaud reserved prude will relapse into a smile at the a piece of wit of his own, but always takes care extravagant freedoms of the coquette; the co- to confine his mouth within the rules of good quette in her turn laughs at the starchness and breeding; he takes the laugh from the ladies, awkward affectation of the prude; the man of but is never guilty of so great an indecorum letters is tickled with the vanity and ignorance as to begin it. of the fop; and the fop confesses his ridicule at The Ionic laugh is of universal use to men the unpoliteness of the pedant.
of power at their levees; and is esteemed by ju. I fancy we may range the sereral kinds of dicious place-hunters a more particular mark laughers under the following heads :
of distinction than the whisper. A young gen. The Dimplers.
tleman of my acquaintance valued himself upon The Smilers.
his success, having obtained this favour after The Laughers.
the attendance of three months only. The Grinners.
A judicious author, some years since, pub The Horse-laughers.
lished a collection of sonnets, which he very The dimple is practised to give a grace to the successfully called, Laugh and be Fat; or, Pills features, and is frequently made a bait to en- to purge Melancholy: I cannot sufficiently ad. tangle a gazing lover; this was called by the mire the facetious title of these volumes, and ancients the Chian laugh.
must censure the world of ingratitude, while The smile is for the most part confined to the they are so negligent in rewarding the jocose fair sex, and their male retinue. It expresses Jabours of my friend Mr. D'Urfey, who was so our satisfaction in a silent sort of approbation, large a contributor to this treatise, and to whose doth not too much disorder the features, and is humourous productions so many rural squires practised by lovers of the most delicate ad. in the remotest parts of this island are obliged dress. This tender motion of the physiognomy for the dignity and state which corpulency the ancients called the Ionic laugh.
gives them. The story of the sick man's breakThe laugh among us is the common Risus of ing an imposthume by a sudden fit of laughter, the ancients.
is too well known to need a recital. It is my The grin by writers of antiquity is called the opinion, that the above pills would be extremely Syncrusian; and was then, as it is at this time, proper to be taken with asses' milk, and mightily made use of to display a beautiful set of teeth. contribute towards the renewing and restoring
The horse-laugh, or the Sardonic, is made decayed lungs. Democritus is generally repre. use of with great success in all kinds of dispu- sented to us as a man of the largest size, which tation. The proficients in this kind, by a well- we may attribute to his frequent exercise of his timed laugh, will baffle the most solid argu. risible faculty. I remember Juvenal says of him, ment. This upon all occasions supplies the Perpetuo risu pulmonum agitare solebat.-Sat. x. 33. want of reason, is always received with great He shook his sides with a perpetual laugh. applause in coffee-house disputes ; and that side That sort of man whom a late writer has the laugh joins with, is generally observed to called the Butt, is a great promoter of this gain the better of his antagonist,
healthful agitation, and is generally stocked The prude hath a wonderful esteem for the with so much good humour, as to strike in with Chian laugh or dimple: she looks upon all the the gayety of conversation, though some innocent other kinds of laughter as excesses of levity; and blunder of his own be the subject of the raillery. is never seen upon the most extravagant jests, I shall range all old amorous dotards under to disorder her countenance with the ruffle of a the denomination of Grinners; when a young
blooming wench touches their fancy, by an en-| I come now to the English, whom I shall treat deavour to recall youth into their cheeks, they with such meekness as becomes a good patriot; immediately overstrain their muscular features, and shall so far recommend this our island as and shrivel their countenance into this frightful a proper scene for pastoral, under certain regumerriment.
lations, as will satisfy the courteous reader that The wag is of the same kind, and by the I am in the landed interest. same artifice labours to support his impotence I must in the first place observe, that our of wit: but he very frequently calls in the horse countrymen have so good an opinion of the anlaugh to his assistance.
cients, and think so modestly of themselves, There are another kind of grinners, which that the generality of pastoral writers have the ancients call Megarics;, and some moderns either stolen all from the Greeks and Romans, have, not injudiciously, given them the name or so servilely imitated their manners and cusof the Sneerers. These always indulge their toms, as makes them very ridiculous. In look. mirth at the expense of their friends, and all ing over some English pastorals a few days ago, their ridicule consists in unseasonable ill-nature. I perused at least fifty lean flocks, and reckoned I could wish these laughers would consider, up a hundred left-handed ravens, besides blasted that let them do what they can, there is no oaks, withering meadows, and weeping deities. laughing away their own follies by laughing at Indeed most of the occasional pastorals we have, other people's.
are built upon one and the same plan. A shepThe mirth of the tea-table is for the most herd asks his fellow, 'Why he is so pale ? if his part Mogaric; and in visits the ladies them- favourite sheep hath strayed ? if his pipe be selves very seldom scruple the sacrificing a broken? or Phyllis unkind ?'
He answers, friendship to a laugh of this denomination. • None of these misfortunes have befallen him,
The coquette hath a great deal of the Mega- but one much greater, for Damon (or sometimes ric in her ; but, in short, she is a proficient in the god Pan) is dead. This immediately causes laughter, and can run through the whole exer- the other to make complaints, and call upon the cise of the features; she subdues the formal lofty pines and silver streams to join in the lalover with the dimple, accosts the fop with the mentation. While he goes on, his friend intersmile, joins with the wit in the downright rupts him, and tells him that Damon lives, and laugh, to vary the air of her countenance fre- shows him a track of light in the skies to conquently rallies with the grin, and when she has firm it; then invites him to chesnuts and cheese. ridiculed her lover quite out of his understand. Upon this scheme most of the noble families in ing, to complete his misfortunes, strikes him Great Britain have been comforted; nor can I. dumb with the horse-laugh.
meet with any right honourable shepherd that The horse-laugh is a distinguishing charac- doth not die and live again, after the manner teristic of the rural hoyden, and it is observed of the aforesaid Damon. to be the last symptom of rusticity that forsakes Having already informed my reader wherein her under the discipline of the boarding-school. the knowledge of antiquity may be serviceable,
Punsters, I find, very much contribute to- I shall now direct him where he may lawfully wards the Sardonic, and the extremes of either deviate from the ancients. There are some wit or folly seldom fail of raising this noisy things of an established nature in pastoral, kind of applause. As the ancient physicians which are essential to it, such as a country held the Sardonic laugh very beneficial to the scene, innocence, simplicity. Others there are lungs; I should, methinks, advise all my coun- of a changeable kind, such as habits, customs, trymen of consumptive and hectical constitu- and the like. The difference of the climate is tions to associate with the most facetious pun- also to be considered, for what is proper in sters of the age. Persius hath very elegantly de. Arcadia, or even in Italy, might be very absurd scribed a Sardonic laugher in the following line, in a colder country. By the same rule, the Ingeminat tremulos naso crispante cachinnos. difference of the soil, of fruits, and flowers, is
to be observed. And in so fine a country as Redoubled peals of trembling laughter bursts, Convulsing every feature of the face.
Britain, what occasion is there for that profuLaughter is a vent of any sudden joy that sion of hyacinths and Pæstan roses, and that strikes upon the mind, which being too volatile cornucopia of foreign fruits which the British
How much more and strong, breaks out in this tremor of the shepherds never heard of? voice. The poets make use of this metaphor pleasing is the following scene to an English
reader ! when they would describe nature in her richest dress, for beauty is never so lovely as when
" This place may seem for shepherds' leisure made,
So lovingly these elms unite their shatle, adorned with the smile, and conversation never Th' ambitious woodbine, how it climbs to breathe sits easier upon us, than when we now and Its balmy sweets around on all beneath! then discharge ourselves in a symphony of
The ground with grass of cheerful green bespread,
Thro' which the springing flower uprears its head! laughter, which may not improperly be called, Lo, here the king.cup of a golden hue, The Chorus of Conversation.
Medley'd with daisies white, and endive blue!
With tuneful warblings fill that bramble bush!
And tempt us in the various song to join.' -redeunt Saturnia Regna. Virg. Ecl. iv. 6. The theology of the ancient pastoral is so Roll round again.
very pretty, that it were pity entirely to change Dryden.
it; but I think that part only is to be retained The Italians and French being despatched, I which is universally known, and the rest to be
Sat. iii. 87.