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1751. Of SETTLEMENTS and CERTIFICATES.

have come into them with a fair reputation, have foon been tainted. And, indeed, mone but needy perfons would undertake that tafk, and with a view to make a penny of it. For, who that do not want it, would take that monstrous and inexpreffible trouble upon themselves? A new generation therefore must arife, before A any real or lafting good could be expected from county work houses, or their keepers.

With regard to parishes, there is one great, or rather intolerable burden, which I have not yet mentioned, and which need be but just mentioned; fo evident it is. And that is, the most enormous ex

pence that would be laid upon the whole B
kingdom, and every diftinét parish there-
in, for the building of fuch large edifices,
or rather little towns, as would be ne-
ceffary for the accommodation, and em-
ployment, of feveral hundreds of poor
In the account of
gathered together.
which ought to be taken, the dishonesty
and the various and numberless impofitions
of workmen, usual and almost unavoidable
in all publick works.

Perhaps you will fay, that great care will be taken by perfons of quality and fortune †, to prevent all frauds and impofitions. To which I anfwer, so it will, A present perhaps, for a little while.

publick-fpirited generation may do fo :
And, by that means, fuch a project might D
poffibly turn to account for a few years.
But I can fafely affirm, it would be but
for a very few years. For gentlemen will
foon be tired to attend, if no emolument
follows: And especially, if fuch attendance
soo much interferes with their neceffary
bufinefs, or diverfions, as I affue them
from experience it very much would. In E
fuch a cafe, it would unavoidably happen,
as it hath done before in work-houfe cor-
porations and other large work-houfes
That is, the care of them devolves upon a
fet of interested, and generally of the
lowest and most defpicable, wretches; who
attend only on purpose to put off their bad
wares, at an exorbitant, and a double

:

551

age, when all publick virtue, and publick
fpirit, are too much disregarded.

I must add this further oblervation, that it would not be fo eafy a matter to get employment for the armies of poor confined in county work-houfes, as gentle men feem to imagine. That point appears to be the leaft in their thoughts, which fhould really be one of the chief. In counties where manufactures are carried on, poffibly fome employment might be got for thefe work- houfes; tho' in fuch places the work is generally fo ill done, and in fo coarfe and lovenly a manner, that good tradefmen do not care to employ them. But in counties where there is no manufac

ture, or where husbandry is the fole employment, what fort of bufiness can you employ them in ?-In picking straws ?Ah, fay you, we will get a stock, and fet them to work. But how will you difpofe of their work ?-Most manufactures are already overstocked. And any one that you could fet up, would prefently be overstocked. So that it would be employing the poor in vain.

As a great deal hath been faid by fome gentlemen, against the prefent method of fettlements and certificates; it will be proper to clofe this paper with a few words upon that fubje&t. Upon due confideration it will be found, that, instead of opening that door wider, it ought really Let any gentleman to be made narrower. but fit down cooly, examine the point, and and make proper enquiries about it; he will foon be fenfible, that a general liberty for poor perfons to wander at pleafure, and fix themfelves wherever whim or fuppofed conveniency leads them, would make most of the towns in this kingdom infufferable, and drive away from thence all reputable inhabitants, and thofe of any fubftance. For, who are those vagrant workmen, for whom too many mistaken gentlemen exprefs fuch an ill-timed and unreafonable concern? They are, in general, fuch whom their crimes, or ill behaviour force to fly from their legal habitations. Whatever their profeffions are,

price, from what they could honeftly fell F the parishes they belong to would be glad

them to common customers.

Things of a publick nature are always neglected, What is every body's business, is no body's bufinefs; at least in this felfifh

72.

to keep them, if they have any honesty or ingenuity. And in order to judge, how few are neceffitated to remove out of their

own

• See Remarks on the Laws relating to the Poor, p. 43, by which it appears, that the faid monftrous expence is to be raised by a tax on the people. Compare Confiderations on feveral propofals lately made for the better maintenance of the poor, by an ingenious member of the Houfe of Commons. + See the aforefaid Remarks on the Laws relating to the Poor, p. 71, A very remarkable inflance of this happened even in the great parish of St. James's, Wifminfer. They bad a work-boufe, which, wobile taken care of by the better fort of people, fucceeded well; but at last it fell into other bands, and a carpenter, or joiner, among others, being chofen overfeer, and not thinking be bad been gainer enough by bis office, before the expiration of it, See Remarks on the Laws be fent into the work-baufe feurfcore coffins, for fature ufe.

relating to the Poor, p. 11, &c.

552

Two LETTERS of DIOGENES.

own parish for the fake of employment, or
a maintenance, examine every parith, and
the number will appear extremely small *.
Instead therefore of fuch a general liberty
as fome plead for, all perfons that come
to inhabit in a parish where their legal fet-
element is not, fhould bring a certificate
with them, and deliver it immediately,
or within a week, to the officers of the A
parish, or else be committed to the house of
correction. And to render the getting of
certificates eafier, or effectually to fupply
the place of them, this method should be

Dec.

you want knowledge, and in wanting that,
want every thing? Your banishing me,
I look upon as a favour, and value your
threats fo little, that I had rather be ac-
cused, than applauded by you. In a word,
I would chufe to be a vagabond all over
the earth, before I would confent to live
a wealthy, but unknown citizen of Sinope.
Farewel.

The fame, to MEGASTHENES; acquainting
bim bow be bantered and converted a Victor,
in bis Return from the Olympick Games.

ufed: poor perfon, upon his coming A

FTER the games at Olympia were

over, I determined to go thither; when by the way meeting one Cicermus, at Pancratian wreftler, who had obtained a victor's crown, and was then upon his return homeward, accompa nied by a great number of his friends, I taking him by the hand accofted, and thus faid to him, Friend, lay afide all this pride, and go modestly home to thine house, let the occafion of thy so great rejoicing be what it will. But, proceeded I, what can be the cause of all this ovation? How comeft thou to be thus puffed

into a parish without it, fhould be taken
up and examined upon oath, as is now
practifed: A copy of this examination of
bis fhould be fent, by the poft, to the
parish which he has fworn his fettlement B
to be in; and if the officers of the fame
return no answer to it, or do not make it
appear that his fettlement is elsewhere,
both within a month, then a proper me-
morandum, or certificate, of the fact,
fhould be figned by two neighbouring
juftices: Which, to all intents and pur-
pofes, fhould answer the end of a certifi-Cup? What is the meaning of this crown
cate, and be as valid, authentick, and
binding.

To the entertaining and infirullive Letters of Diogenes, which we have already inferted, (See p. 323, 361, 409, 455.) we shall bere add the twe following.

The Cynick Philofopher, DIOGENES, to the D People of Sinope; ridiculing them for banishing bim.

YOU have banished me, my country

Y men, and 1, contrary,

you may be confined at home; for while
you inhabit Sinope, I live at Athens.
You spend your time with none but mer-
cenary traders, while I converfe daily with E
philofophers. You deal in nothing but
vile merchandize, while I continually read
both men and books. Pity me not then,
but rather envy me, in that, being re-
moved from you, I lead a much happier
life than when I was with you. I then
wallowed in all kinds of floth and luxury;
I now am obliged to labour for my living: F
I then lived at large, but now am con-
fined to rules. What then hinders me
from commiferating your condition, men
of Sinope, in that having fo great wealth,

on thy head, this palm branch in thy
hand, or of all this hair brain'd mob's
following thee? To which he replied,
Thefe are all tokens of my fuccefs at the
Olympick games, where I have conquered
every body. How, quoth I, what didft
thou conquer Jove, and his brothers?
Not fo neither, anfwered he. I fuppofe,
continued I, you, did not challenge alt
that flood about you. No, replied he.
How then, argued I, could you be faid
to conquer all? I fancy, purfued I, you
had the good luck to have these conquefts
affigned you by lot, which others had
gained for you; was it not fo? Con-

fefs; he owned it was. Then I proceed

ed to ask him, whether they were men
only who contended at thefe games. He
answered, No, fome were boys. I wat-
rant you made fine work with them,
purfued I. Not at all, quoth he, for
they were not my match. Did you then
conquer all that were your match? Yes.
And were all thofe that contended wi hr
you men? Yes. And are not you a man
likewife? Undoubtedly. Did you then
conquer yourfelf? No. How then could

you

In a parish noru under my eye, there are 63 families refiding therein with certificates from ther parifbes; and yet, upon the clofeft ferating and examination, it most plainly appears, that not above 14 of thofe families are neceffitated to refide in that parish, for the sake of business, or get employment from masters, by living in their bufet. Many of them are the aileft and mis troublesome of people, and yet cannot be removed till they become ebargeable. If ever it should be erated, that families of poor could fettle themselves in parishes at pleasure, the best thing that parifbes (abounding with cottages or fmall tenements, especially in toxuns,) could do, would be to buy them, and pull ibem down as fast as they could, in their own defence: Which God forbid t † Ore that wre filed and boxed at the fame time.

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1751.

Preamble to Lord COLERANE'S Will.

you be faid to conquer every body, when
you yourself have escaped? But, proceed-
ed I, tell me, prithee, were those you
got the victory over your equals or inferiors?
My equals. If they were equal to you,
how came you to conquer them? No, they
were my inferiors. It fo, why were you
not afhamed to contend with them? Ceafe, A
Cicermus, to boast any further of con-
quests of this nature, purfued I, and rather
ftrive. to out-do all men in virtue, and a
good life. The victories of the mind are
ever the most glorious, whereby you shall
affuredly live happy, and after a long
feries of days die fo. This faid, my Pan-
cratian began to relent, and after fome few
more documents bestowed on him, threw
away his crown and palm-branch, and
vowed never to contend at the Olympick
games more. Farewel.

Preamble to the late Lord COLERANE'S
Will. (See bis Death in our Mag. for
1749, P. 385.)

553

according to my fortune. And lastly, about the beginning of April, 1740, I employed James Weft, Efq; of Lincoln's Inn, (who feemed to think her not averfe to a reconciliation) to offer the like ample and honourable terms to the faid Anne, lady Colerane, in order to prevail on her (if not determined to perfift in a conftant violation of her marriage vow) to come and live with me, govern my family, and partake in the enjoyment of my income. And to this I was not led by the lucre of that ample provifion her father had left her, nor deterred from it by the obvious apprebenfions of the evils or inconveniences, that might follow on taking into my bofom a B perfon, that for fo many years had encouraged and habituated her felf to a moft obftinate, tho' undeferved hatred and contempt of me. But when the faid James Weft, Efq; (as I have it under his own hand) fent to afk leave to offer ample terms of reconciliation from me, fhe returned him word, that she had no answer to give to fuch propofals, or to that effect. All which proceedings of the faid lady Colerane being well known and maturely weighed to and by Mrs. Rofe du Pleffis, fpinfter," and myself, we two did, on the 29th of April, in the year laft abovenamed, in the prefence of God, enter into a folemn mutual engagement to take each other for husband and wife, and perform to each other the negative and pofitive duties of that relation (endeavouring to give as little offence as we may, by our living together in the life-time of the faid lady Colerane.) In confequence whereof, The, the faid Rofe, whom I esteem as my only true and virtuous wife, brought me a daughter on the 12th day of September, 1745, whom I have named Henrietta Rosa Peregrina.

N the name of God, Amen. I Henry C Hare, Efq; baron of Colerane in the kingdom of Ireland, being in a found state of mind, and having deliberately confidered, how I may most justly, gratefully, and prudently difpofe of the worldly goods, with which the divine providence has intrusted me, do make my last will and teftament in manner following; that is to say, Firft and principally, I refign my foul to my heavenly Father, humbly befeeching him, that it being washed from its many fins and pollutions in the blood of my Saviour Jefus Chrift, it may be accepted to mercy. And whereas it has been my heavy affliction, that Anne, lady Colerane, whom I married with an affectionate and upright heart, did, in the 3d year of our marriage, E about October, 1720, without any juft caufe or provocation by me given, but with the encouragement of felfifh, mifinformed, and ill-difpofed perfons, in violation of her part of the folemn and mutual covenant, which we entered into at our marriage, utterly for fake my bed and houfe. And whereas, from thence forward unto the year 1740, I did, by letter and message, at fundry times, and on all the most proper occafions, folicit my faid wife to return to her duty, and cohabit with me again, according to the folemn engagement made between us at our marriage, which on my part I was ever difpofed to keep and perform, and for that end had for fo many years denied myfelf all the comforts of a married G life, tho' very agreeable to my temper and conftitution; and in my faid overtures, I folemnly and fincerely offered to cancel all paft offences, and receive, entertain, and Support her in a proper and ample manner, December, 1751.

His lordship then dewifes bis eftate to bis faid daughter, in cafe she lives to attain the age of 21 years; and by bis faid will, confirmed by 4 codicis, be bas devised, in cafe of bis daughter's death, bis whole eftate between bis tavo neices and their beirs, charged only F with the payment of lady Colerane's jointure of 1000l. a year, and of an annuity of 400l. a year to the infant's mother for her life, in cafe The continues unmarried, and of 5001, a year for bar life generally.

Having formerly given oar Readers the Marquis of Halifax's Charater of K. CHARLES II. under the Articles of bis Religion, Diffimulation, Condu&t to bis Mimifters, bis Amours, Mißtreffes, &c. bis Wit and Converfation; we shall now add the Conclufion, which is as follows.

A

FTER all this, (fays the marquis) when fome rough ftrokes of the pen4 A

See Lond, Mag, for 1750, P. 125, 164, 210, 315, 534,

cil

554

Remarks on the Character of K. CHARLES II.

cil have made feveral parts of the picture look a little hard, it is a justice that would be due to every man, much more to a prince, to make fome amends, and to reconcile men as much as may be to it by the last finishing.

He had as good a claim to a kind interpretation as most men: Firft as a prince; A living and dead, generous and well-bred men will be gentle to them; next, as an unfortunate prince in the beginning of his time, and a gentle one in the reft.

A prince neither sharpened by his miffortunes whilft abroad, nor by his power when restored, is fuch a fhining character, that it is a reproach not to be fo dazzled with it, as not to be able to fee a fault in B its full light. It would be a scandal in this cafe to have an exact memory. And if all who are akin to his vices, fhould mourn for him, never prince would be better attended to his grave. He is under the protection of common frailty, that must engage men for their own fakes not to be too fevere, where they themselves have fo much to answer.

If he had fometimes lefs firmness than might have been wifhed; let the kindest reafon be given, and if that should be wanting, the beft excufe. I would affign the cause of it to be his loving at any rate to be cafy, and his deferving the more to be indulged in it, by his defiring that every body else should be fo.

Dec.

in his own defence, might the better have the privilege fometimes to be the aggreffor, and to deal with men at their own weapon.

Subjects are apt to be as arbitrary in their cenfure, as the most affuming kings can be in their power. If there might be matter for objections, there is not lefs reason for excufes; the defects laid to his charge, are fuch as may claim indulgence from mankind.

Should nobody throw a ftone at his faults but thofe who are free from them, there would be but a flender shower.

What private man will throw ftones at him because he loved? Or what prince, because he diffembled ?

If he either trufted, or forgave his enemies, or in fome cafes neglected his friends, more than could in strictnefs be allowed; let not thofe errors be fo arraigned, as to take away the privilege that Leemeth to be due to princely frailties. If princes are under the misfortune of being C accufed to govern ill, their subjects have the lefs right to fall hard upon them, fince they generally fo little deferve to be governed well.

D

If he fometimes let a fervant fall, let it be examined whether he did not weigh fo much upon his master, as to give him a fair excufe. That yieldingnefs, whatever foundations it might lay to the disadvan tage of pofterity, was a fpecifick to preferve us in peace for his own time. If he loved too much to lie upon his own down- E bed of eafe, his fubjects had the pleafure, during his reign, of lolling and ftretching upon theirs. As a fword is fooner broke upon a feather-bed than upon a table, fo his pliantness broke the blow of a prefent mischief much better than a more immediate refiftance would perhaps have done.

Ruin faw this, and therefore removed him first, to make way for further overturnings.

F

If he diffembled; let us remember, first, that he was a king, and that diffimulation is a jewel of the crown ; next, that it is very hard for a man not to do fometimes too much of that, which he concludeth neceffary for him to practise. Men fhould confider, that as there would G be no falle dice, if there were no true ones, to if diffembling is grown universal, it ceafeth to be ful play, having an implied allowance by the general practice. He that was fo often forced to diffemble

The truth is, the calling of a king, with all its glittering, hath fuch an unreasonable weight upon it, that they may rather expect to be lamented, than to be envied, for being fet upon a pinacle, where they are expofed to cenfure, if they do not do more to answer mens expectations, than corrupted nature will allow.

It is but justice therefore to this prince, to give all due foftenings to the lefs thining parts of his life; to offer flowers and leaves to hide, instead of ufing aggravations to expose them.

Let his royal afhes then lie foft upon him, and cover him from harsh and unkind cenfures; which, tho' they should not be unjust, can never clear themselves from being indecent,

The following Story, from the Rambler of
Dec. 10, may be of Ufe to our Lottery
Adventurers, and may serve to caution
others against the like Infatuation.

I

SERVED an appenticeship to a linen

draper, with uncommon reputation for diligence and fidelity, and at the age of 23 opened a shop for myfelf, with a large ftock, and fuch credit, that I could command whatever was imported curious or valuable. For five years I proceeded with fuccefs proportionate to clofe application and untainted integrity, fa that I was proverbially marked out as the model of young traders.

But in this courfe of even profperity, I was one day perfuaded to buy a ticket in

the

1751.

A LESSON for LOTTERY ADVENTURERS.

the lottery. The fum was inconfiderable, the greater part was to be repaid, tho' fortune might fail to favour me, and therefore my established maxims of frugality did not restrain me from so trifling an experiment. The ticket lay almoft forgotten till the time at which every man's fate was to be determined, nor did the affair even then feem A of any importance, till I difcovered by the publick papers, that the ticket next in number to mine had conferred the great prize.

My heart leaped at the thought of fuch an approach to fudden riches, which I confidered myfelf, however contrarily to the laws of computation, as having miffed by a fingle chance, and could not forbear

to entertain myself with the confequences, B

which fuch a bounteous allotment would have produced, if it had happenned to myfelf. This dream of felicity, by degrees, took poffeffion of my imagination. The great delight of my folitary hours was to purchase an eftate, and form plantations with money which once might have been mine, and I never met my friends but IC fpoiled all their merriment by perpetual complaints of my ill luck.

At length, another lottery was opened, and I had now fo heated my imagination with the profpect of a prize, that I should have preffed among the first purchasers, had not my ardour been witheld by deliberation upon the probability of fuccefs from one ticket rather than another. I hefitated long between even and odd, confidered all the fquare and cubick numbers in the lottery, examined all thofe to which good luck had been hitherto annexed, and at laft fixed upon one, which, by fome fecret relation to the events of my life, I thought predeftined to make me happy. Delay in great affairs is often mischievous; E the ticket was fold, and its poffeffor could not be found.

I returned to my conje&ures, and after many arts of prognoftication, fixed upon another chance, but with lefs confidence. Never did captive, heir, or lover feel fo much vexation from the flow pace of time, as I fuffered between the purchase of my F ticket and the diftribution of the prizes. I folaced myself, however, as I could, by frequent contemplations of approaching happiness. At laft the day came, my ticket appeared, and rewarded all my care and fagacity with a defpicable prize of 50l. My friends, who congratulated me upon my fuccefs, were very coldly received; I hid myfelf a fortnight in the country, that G my chagrin might fume away without obfervation, and then returned to my shop, and began to liften after another lottery,

With the news of a lottery I was foon gratified, and having now found the vanity

555

of conjecture, and the inefficacy of computation, I refolved to take the prize by violence, and therefore bought 40 tickets, not omitting, however, to divide them between the even and odd numbers, that I might not mifs the lucky clafs. Many conclufions did I form, and many experiments did I try, to determine from which of thofe tickets I might reasonably expect affluence. At last, being unable to fatisfy myself by any modes of reasoning, I wrote the numbers upon dice, and allotted 5 hours every day to the amusement of throwing them in a garret, and, examining the event by an exact register, I found, on the evening before the Jottery was drawn, that one

of my numbers had been turned up 5 times more than any of the reft in 330,000 throws.

This experiment was fallacious; the first day prefented the hopeful ticket, "a detestable blank. The reft came out with different fortune, and in conclufion, I luft zol. by this great adventure.

I had now wholly changed the caft of my behaviour and the conduct of my life. The shop was for the moft part abandoned to my fervants, and, if I entered it, my thoughts were fo engroffed by my tickets, that I fcarcely heard or answered a question, but confidered every customer as an intruder upon my meditations, whom I was in hafte to dispatch. I miftook the price of my goods, committed blunders in my bills, forgot to file my receipts, and neglected to regulate my books. My acquaintances, by degrees, began to fall away, but I perceived the decline of my bufinefs with little emotion, because, whatever deficiency there might be in my gains, I expected the next lottery to fupply.

Mifcarriage naturally produces diffidence; I began now to feek affiftance against ill luck, by an alliance with those that had been more fuccefsful. I enquired diligently, at what office any prize had been fold, that I might purchase of a propitious vender; folicited thofe who had been fortunate in former lotteries, to partake with me in my new tickets, and, whenever I met with any one that had, in any event of his life, been eminently profperous, I invited him to take a larger or fmaller share. I had, by this rule of conduct, fo diffufed my intereft, that I had a 4th part of 15 tickets, an 8th of 40, and a 16th of 90.

I waited for the decifion of my fate with my former palpitations, and looked upon the bufinefs of my trade with the usual neglect. The wheel at laft was turned, and its revolutions brought me a long fucceffion of forrows and difappointments. 1, indeed, often partook of a fmall prize, 4 A a

and

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