Love Or Children: When You Can't Have Both

It's like this giant secret that is right in front of everyone. One in five women reach menopause without having children. For more than half of them, it was not by choice. At least not their own. They don't have children because their partners were unable or unwilling to have children with them. This happens to men, too. Hooked up with a partner who a) never wanted children, b) already has kids from a previous relationship, c) never quite felt ready for parenthood, d) has had a vasectomy, or e) has fertility problems, they are forced to make a choice between this man or woman they love and the children they might have had. It's an unfair choice, one nobody should have to make, but the readers of my previous book and my blog, both titled Childless by Marriage, have to make it. The decision you make will affect everything else in your life. This book, Love or Children, is a compilation of the best of more than 700 posts and comments from the Childless by Marriage blog. Think Dear Abby or Dear Sugar, except I ask the questions and the anonymous readers answer them, sharing their own experience and advice. Love or Children unveils the secrets we don't feel comfortable telling our families, friends, our partners, or even our therapists. It also contains information and advice people in this situation--and their loved ones--need to read. Chapters tackle how childless relationships happen, whether to stay or look for someone else, how to deal with the grief of losing the chance to have children, how to cope with people's clueless comments and questions, the joys and frustrations of stepchildren, how to prepare for old age, and more.